Beckett's new start
by Castlelover94
Summary: Our lovely detective finaly finds her mother after 14 years and she thinks it will all be over, but is it far more deeper than she thought. With a baby and wedding in the future can she put everything on the line or will she be forced to back away? this is the same as new start i jusr re- uploaded it! Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

Summery: What if Kate's mom wasn't dead she was actually Kidnapped all those years ago, what happens when our lovely detective finally finds her? Will it be like she had imagined and will her mom even recognize her?

Chapter One

I was pregnant, me Katherine Beckett NYPD homicide detective, was pregnant. This could not be happening to me, I mean yah I was beyond happy but that little part of me was really questioning my ability as a mother. My own mother had been kidnapped 14 years ago and after only a year they just gave up looking and said that she was dead. Dad took it the hardest and started drinking, but I never gave up hopping, and maybe that was all just wishful thinking but I had to believe that something good would one day come. And that day was just around the corner.

I sat transfixed at the three positive pregnancy tests in my sink, there was no way that this could actually be happening to me but yet the proof was on the stick. I wasn't even able to tell myself I was pregnant let alone my boyfriend. I turned on the sink and splashed my face in cold water making my hot cheeks burn with the sudden icy coldness of the water, I needed to talk to someone, Lanie was my only hope.

"See three very positive pregnancy tests." I said when Lanie got there pointing to the tests still in my sink.

"Oh my God Kate you are pregnant." Lanie said a little shocked.

"No, I was just pulling the worst and meanest best friend prank ever."

"No need for sarcasm, come on lets talk." Lanie and I plopped down on the couch in my living room.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, I hadn't particularly planed to get pregnant like this. I mean with Castle yes but not when we hadn't even moved in together."

"Kate, Castle loves you, I see the way you two look at each other and I know that if you tell him he will be the happiest guy in the world."

"I just don't want to scare him away by putting something like this on him at such a hard time in our relationship."

"But sweetie none of that is going to matter when you two hold that little bundle of joy in your arms, all you'll know is that you love each other and are happy."

"Yah I guess your right I mean it can't be that bad in the end, I just need some time to clear my head, do you mind?"

"No of course not, call me to let me know how it went."

"of course and thanks again for coming over on such short notice." I said giving my best friend a hug.

"Anything for you Kate." She smiled giving me a quick wink and walking out the door.. I closed the door and fell against it cupping my face in my hands.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

I pulled up to Castle's apartment at eight when he had told me, I was supposed to be there for a movie night just he and I but I had the feeling it would be confession time instead. I walked in the front door only to be met by a candle lit room with rose peddles stroon across the floor and the smell of chine's in the air. I stood silent for a moment listening, I could hear the song Defying Gravity from the play Wicked playing softly in the background which we had gone to the night I had gotten pregnant. I walked farther into the house but it was dead silent. I went and checked in Castle's office only to find a manuscript with a bow tied around it. I opened it, it was the last few paragraphs of his latest book _Bringing Heat, _I sat down in a comfy chair and started to read.

_Nikki sat at her desk in the precinct admiring the boutique of roses she had gotten from a secret admirer, Jamison Rook. She had debated calling him hopping instead that he would call her. Finally giving in to her urge she reached for her phone just as it rang. It wasn't her usual ring tone instead it was one that had her gasping for air, it was Marry me by Train. After taking a breath she answered it._

"_Hello." She chocked out._

"_So did you like the flowers I sent you." She smiled giving a little chuckle._

"_Oh, so you're my secret admirer, I was wondering who I should thank." _

"_Turn around and you can thank me in person." He said and she spun around in her chair hanging up the phone. She stood and walked toward him, he had always seen her as beautiful but tonight she was just plane stunning. He kissed her lips softly and pulled away to look into those beautiful eyes that always had a way of casting a spell on him. _

"_So have you finally come to help me do paperwork?" He smiled, glancing at the ground. _

"_No I came to do something else, something that is probably long overdue. Nikki you know I love you more than I have ever loved any other person, you are my rock and everything you do amazes me more and more. I can never say this enough, I love you Nikki." Nikki nodded holding back tears. _

"_When I first met you I just wanted to be that guy that was with the sexy detective, but now after all this time of working with you, I want something more and I want to take every step on the road of life with you right beside me all the way." He pulled a box from his coat pocket and got down on one knee._

"_Nikki Heat I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you and you have had me captured in that beautiful heart of yours ever since, so. Will You marry me?" _

That was it that was how it ended.

"So what do you say Nikki?" I spun around to see Castle on one knee holding a small blue velvet box, I got up and walked over not sure of what to say.

"Nikki could feel the hot tears run to her eyes, she knew that this time it wasn't some God that had put them together, no it was heat. Heat of there love for each other, Heat from that summer they first met, the heat from there first time they ever kissed and ever made love. She could only get out one word 'yes' before that heat consumed both of them." I said smiling, leaving even Castle speechless. "Do I have to put the ring on myself?" I asked and he laughed sliding the ring on my finger and standing up. I admired it and looked into his handsome blue eyes.

"Do you like it?" He asked.

"I love it," I said letting the tars I had been holding back fall. He wrapped his arms around me, making me lose all of my defenses, I tried to tell myself that I had a job to do and if I didn't do it soon I would miss my chance all together. I could feel his lips on mine but I couldn't figure out who had gone for who's lips first. I pushed off before we could even make it to the good part..

"Baby is everything ok?" He asked looking into my eyes concerned.

"Can we sit down, we really need to talk."

"Yah sure, is everything ok?" He said pulling up another chair next to the one I was in and grabbing my hands.

"No, and I'll understand if you don't want to get married because of it."

"Kate nothing will ever make me not want to marry you, I love you, just please tell me what's wrong." He pleaded.

"I had wanted this to be a little different but I guess no matter what it still has to be said. Rick I'm… I'm pregnant." He broke into a smile and I couldn't help but smile to.

"Were gun'a have a baby?" He said jumping up.

"Yah, I take it your happy then?" I smiled.

"I'm beyond happy. Oh my gosh, I'm gun'a be a dad again." He sat back down running his fingers through his hair. "Come here." He said opening his arms and I curled in his lap like a little girl does to her daddy. Rick laid his hand on my stomach and gave me another kiss.

"This doesn't change anything does it?" I asked looking at him, when did he get to be so darn perfect, oh wait he already was.

"No, I still want to spend the rest of my life with you and make little Castle and Beckett babies." I laughed and gave him a quick kiss.

"So what is for the movie?" I asked.

"Well I was thinking Serendipity or we could watch For Lovers Only."

"Or we could completely skip the movie and go straight to the after party." I hinted with a faint smile. He paused pretending to think for a moment before picking me up in his arms and carrying me up the stairs to his room. Well our room now.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

It was tree days later, Castle and I were going to see my dad after our first doctors appointment about the baby, at the same time we were going to tell him that we were engaged. I was looking at the ultra-sound, at our beautiful human we had created that was growing inside me. My leg was shacking and Rick had to put his hand on my thigh to make it stop.

"Sorry, just a little nervous about telling my dad." I said as we pulled into my dads driveway, it was the house I had grown up in, my dad couldn't part with it after my mom's kidnapping, I think he was hopping that maybe one day she would just come ring the door bell and he wanted to be there if she ever did.

"Don't worry I'm right beside you." I nodded and squeezed his hand before we got out.

My heart was pounding as I rang the doorbell and waited for him to answer it, Rick's fingers enveloped in mine and hi kissed my cheek making me blush.

"Katie, Rick what brings you two here?" My dad said when he answered the door giving me a hug as usual and giving Rick a firm hand shake.

"We actually came to talk to you,." I admitted as we walked inside and sat down in the living room.

"What did you want to talk about kiddo?" Rick and I looked at each other and he grabbed my hand squeezing it tightly.

"Well Rick and I just got back from the doctor and we have some pretty big news," I paused trying hard not to smile. "Rick and I are going to have a baby." I said excitedly and smiled at my fathers look of pure shock. I dug into my purse pulling out a copy of the ultra-sound and handed it to him.

"So I'm going to be a grandpa?" He asked looking at the both of us.

"Yah, but that's not all."

"More? I just found out my baby is going to have a baby, that's about all your old man can take in one sitting." Dad joked and Rick gave a nerves laugh.

"Well fine I guess the fact Rick asked me to marry him isn't that important of information." I said looking to see some reaction.

"Was this before or after you knew you knocked up my daughter?" my dad asked, this was the first time I had seen him genuinely upset.

"It was before I knew that she was pregnant." My dad sighed looking back at the photo and putting a smile back on his face.

"When are you due?"

"June 26th, mom's birthday." I smiled.

"She would be so proud of you Kate, you need to know that. She always wanted grandkids." He smiled, I got up and gave him a hug starting to sob. He let go and Backed up feeling lightheaded and dizzy I bolted for the bathroom slamming the door and going for the toilet making it just in time. I sat on the cold floor for what seemed like forever but was only fifteen minutes.

When I was younger and I would be sick my mom would sit and twerle my hair in her fingers whenever I was sick like this. She also would make homemade soup and we would sit watching Temptation Lane and snuggle on the couch. So as I sat on the floor in that same bathroom I told myself that it was my dute to be as good of a mother as my mother was. And I was going to be as good of a wife as she was to dad. I could to this, I could be a mom, a wife, a daughter and the person she would want me to be. And I would do it all for my baby.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

We left my dads house about an hour later, now to tell everyone else our news, Alexis and Martha new that we were engaged but didn't know that I was pregnant, and Lanie was the only one out of the team who knew about any of it, so it was going to be an interesting dinner. We had invited everyone to the Old Haunt and had told them it was because Rick and I had something to tell all of them.

When we got home I slipped into my tan skin tight dress and let my hair fall lously around my shoulders. Sliding on my red stiletto heals I sprayed some perfume and walked down the stairs. Alexis stood in the Kitchen trying to clasp her charm bracelet I had gotten her for Christmas last year and I went to help her.

"Thanks Kate." The teenager smiled gasping a little when she saw me.

"What? Don't I look alright?" I asked looking at my dress and fixing my hair.

"No, you look stunning Kate." Alexis said making me smile.

"So do you Alexis." She had on a red strapless dress that came to her knees and a black crop leather jacket and she had ankle boots on, she looked so grown up, Castle was going to have a fit and that kind of made me smile.

"Wow you girls both look stunning you ready to go?" Castle asked trying to pull on his jacket as he walked down the stairs.

"Yah, but where's gram?"

"She was going to hail a cab, her audition got out late." Castle said and we made our way out of the apartment and into the cool New York night Air.

The Old Haunt hadn't changed much since Rick had bought it other than the fact the 12th now had there own reserved , private table towards the back. Rick was in love with this place, after he bought it he did as much research as he could on it in order to make it more historically accurate but it had a modern flair to it, this bar was like a prized pig at the fair to Rick.

Everyone was gathered around our usual table when we walked in, they all were smiling and laughing. The group consisted of Captain Gates, Ryan, Jenny, Esposito, Lanie, Alexis, Martha, and of course us.

"Hey there's the couple of the hour finally arrived." Esposito joked and everyone laughed. I rubbed my forehead with my hand with the ring on it and Lanie jumped in with her part of the plan we had put into place.

"Kate is that a trick of the light or do you have an engagement ring on your finger?"

"Oh my gosh you asked her to marry you finally Castle?" Ryan smiled as everyone admired my ring in bewilderment.

"Yep, and it went very well I think." He smiled and we gave each other a kiss.

"How did he do it Kate." Jenny asked so I was forced for the third time to explain what had happened to everyone. But I couldn't say I didn't mind telling it considering it was still so fresh in my mind.

"Well I say that we do a toast to the happy couple." Esposito said raising his glass and we all did the same. "Here is to the happy couple may they be happy and let's just hope they don't kill each other." We all laughed and Castle cut in excitedly before everyone could drink.

"And also to our new family member due on June 26th." Castle said.

"HERE HERE, WAIT WHAT?" Eveyone said some getting the comment before the others. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Oh my word, Kate are you pregnant?" Martha asked and all I could do was nod because I was laughing so hard.

"Congratulations you two." everyone smiled..

I had managed to stop laughing and was able to say "Thank you."

"How come you didn't tell us?" Alexis asked looking at me, her hands on her hips.

"Well we needed to surprise some people." I smiled.

"So how far along are you?" Gates asked.

"six weeks." I said happily. We fell into casual conversation, just happy to be with each other and having fun.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

Before I knew it six months had passed and as time pasted I got bigger, I got more stressed , I moved to desk duty and the wedding was starting to come into place.

I got a call from my dad telling me to come over around noon, I felt my heart sink in the way he sounded on the other end of the phone. I pulled into the driveway and got out walking to the door. I walked in and was met by my dad at the foot of the stairs.

"She's alive." He said suddenly.

"What?"

"Come here I'll show you." She followed him into the kitchen and to the phone. I sat down and dad hit play. "Listen." we fell into silence as the message played.

"Jim, oh I was hoping it was you. Jim its me Johanna. Listen, I need your help, I'm at a pay phone at a Motel 6 somewhere in New Jersey I think. There's four men and there good shooters I got out while they were passes out. If the cops come they'll kill me. Please help me, I miss you so much and if something happens know that I will always love you, and tell Katharine I said," there was a scream and you could hear her shouting 'no' in the background and a male voice came on. "send the the cops and she dies." The line went dead.

I pulled out my cell phone and called Esposito.

"What's up Beckett?" He said

"I need you to run a number and get a location for me on it. It's a pay phone somewhere in New Jersey." I explained relaying the information to him.

"Yah, sure hit me." I gave him the number flashing across the answering machine. "Got it, may I ask why I'm doing this?" He asked.

"I'm on my way back now, I'll explain it all when I get there." I replied a little agitated. I thanked him and hung up. "I'm headed back to the precinct, do you want to come?" I asked turning to look at my dad.

"No, I can't, I wouldn't be able to handle being there." I walked over and grabbed his hands,

"Dad I am going to do everything I can to get her out of there." I said looking into his eyes.

"Call me when you find anything promise." I nodded and kissed his cheek, turning I walked out.

The ride to the precinct couldn't be fast enough. I just wanted to get to her, I was so close and I wasn't going to let anyone or anything get in my way, not this time. This time I had that thin line wrapped tightly in my hand and I wasn't letting go.

"Esposito What do you have for me?" I asked.

"The pay phone was at a Motel 6 in New Jersey, I got the location but what is all this about?" Captain Gates entered and everyone turned there full attention to me.

"My dad got a phone call today, it was my mom. She had been able to get out from where she was being held and get to a pay phone. We have the precise location and we know there is four men with some sort of gun training holding her there. The men have threatened to kill if we sent in the cops so we need a better and safer plan." I explained. "Can we get a satellite image of the hotel?" I asked and Ryan printed one off. I put it on the murder board and grabbed a marker. There was an abandon building with a back ally entrince that would give us a good vantage point at the hotel. We would canvass the area then Castle and I would go in and distract them enough to get SWAT team in without anyone getting hurt.

As we all got ready I called my dad.

"Hello." His voice was shaking when he spoke.

"Dad we got the location and were going to get her. I sent uniforms to come and get you and take you across the streat with the rest of the team until we get her out." I explained.

"Katie is this really happening ?"

"Yah it is."

"Beckett you ready to go?" Castle asked coming up behind me.

"Hold on, dad were getting ready to go. I'll see you soon." I hung up and grabbed my keys.

The Motel was old and run down only a few cars were in the parking lot, the room they kept my mom in wasn't to hard to spot considering there was a man standing outside keeping watch. As I studdied him I tried to stay calm but my hands were shaking and my heart was pounding.

"So what's our plan?" Castle asked

"we could sneek in with the boys and throw our vests on as we go up the stairs, Espo could go up and knock the guy out from behind then storm the room and just pray it works." We got out of our cars and headed for the steps no more than a couple of steps up we heard guns fire, my heart sank, they had killed my mom, I had been so close and they just stole that life away from me.

"Beckett stay here I'll radio you if we need help, I cant have you get hurt." Esposito shouted as he turned to run up the stairs. More guns fired and I heard a woman scream, we had already evacuated the building so that had to be my mom, I started up the stairs Castle following me. I paused, I could hear yelling but the shooting had stopped. I drew my gun just in case and walked into the room. One man lay dead on the bed and the other two were being cuffed by Ryan and Esposito, but I couldn't find any sign of my mom. I walked up to one of the men and got in his face, he smelled like my first boyfriend, beer and cigarettes.

"Where is she?" I locked eyes with him and glared.

"Help me I'm back here." I ran towards the noise and found where it was coming from, a door stood shut at the end of a hallway as I walked towards it I pulled my gun up and opened the door. There was a bed and a dresser, nothing else. A chair had been placed in the center of the room and she was tied to it. I lowered my gun putting it back in its holster and walked over to her. Starting to un-tie her I could smell her cloth's and for the first time I felt safe.

"Are you ok?" I asked still trying to untie her. I gave up and pulled out a pocket knife.

"Much better now." She said after I got her untied. I came around to the front and looked at her, she was bruised and her lip was bleeding from a cut.

"Lat's get you to the paramedics. Can you stand up mom?" I asked not really even realizing I had said it.

"Katie?" My mom said a tone of shock and utter disbelief. I smiled and helped her stand up. I was trying to smile and not cry but it was starting to get harder. She laid her hand on my cheek and shook her head I grabbed her free hand in mine and she pulled me into her. It felt good to be huged by her again, when we pulled away she wipped a tear from her eye and I smiled at her.

"Come on." I lead her out the door and to the paramedics. Looking over to where the rest of my team stood I could see gates wave to me. "I'll be back in a minute." I said quickly and walked over.

"How's your mom?" Gates asked and I looked back over to her.

"She's pretty beat up and had a bloody lip but other than that she's ok."

"Well I told uniforms to bring your dad over so go be with your mom." Gates said and I nodded walking back over to her.

"You have a good welcome home present I'm sure Johanna." The doctor that was looking her over said as I walked towards them.

"Oh first my daughter has some explaing to do." She said giving me the mother death stair, I smiled, the paramedic turned around and my smile was wipped off my face.

"Josh." I said shocked.

"Hi Kate, heard 'bout you and Castle, gittin' married; he would after he knocked you up wouldn't he?" I smirked and just rolled my eyes at him.

"To bad that isn't any of your business." I said and he just smiled and walked away.

"Do I want to know what that was about?" Mom asked.

"He's my ex and he hasn't exactly held a liking to Castle since I got shot." she looked at me confused and conserned "It's complicated need a lot more time than we do now, besides dad doesn't like to hear about it. Speaking of that I think someone wants to see you." I smiled, she stood up and turned around, when dad saw her he smiled and they walked over to each other. She threw her arms around him and kissed him passionately, wow I didn't know he still had it in him. I felt Rick wrap his arms around me and I turned to face him placing my hands on his chest, he leaned down and kissed my lips softly. I smiled at him and replied to him with another kiss, his hands slipped down to my sides, just enough that the baby could feel it and kicked at his hand. I laughed and Rick looked down smiling. Mom and dad walked over his arm was around her waist and she hugged up against him.

"Hi Rick." dad said happily.

"hi Jim, you must be Johanna, I'm Rick Kate's fiancé." I smiled and looked up at him.

"Rick shadow's me at the twelfth for his book." I explained.

"What's your book?"

"It's called the Nikki Heat series, about an NYPD detective and a writer fighting crime. New York Time's bestseller." Rick said proudly.

"Can you tell he's only half proud of this." I smailed nugging his side

"Well it looks to me like you care about her and as long as you do I think I can handle you two getting married." She smiled, I lokked up into Ricks blue eyes and smiled at him leaning in and giving him a small kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

Authors Note: Sorry for the lateness of getting this posted, it took longer than I wanted. So previously in 'a new start' kate found out she was pregnant and Castle asked her to marry him thrw the Nikki Heat Book, I just had to. Then kate mysteriously found her mom after almost 15 years. So yah, that should about do it. This is set after she finds her mom and she is staying over to make sure no one tries to kill her mom, fun. Anyway Enjoy!

Chapter 6

We pulled into my parents driveway and I waited as my mom and dad walked into the house, she had already broken down once and I could tell she was now. Dad waved to me that I could come in, I got out and walked to the front door watching her look around dad stood in the corner watching her as well and I went to stand by him and he wrapped his hand around my waist as I laid my head on his shoulder holding back tears. I could feel him kiss the top of me head and I gave a slight smile.

"Do you have photo's from after, after I was kidnapped?' mom asked turning to face us.

"Yah, and I have a video of Kate's graduation." dad smiled.

"Wait you taped it, why didn't you tell me?" I asked glaring at him taking a step back.

"Oh I just figured I could use it against you some day miss I trip up stairs when I graduate from the police academy." dad joked.

"I slipped ok and no one but you saw it." I said hitting him with the back of my hand.

"You slipped? How?" Mom asked

"I don't want to talk about it." I said embarrassed "And if you show her that tape I remind you that I know how to shoot a gun."

"I'll show you later." dad smiled, I rolled my eyes.

"Let me get the pictures." I said headed for the stairs. When I came back they were sitting on that couch he had his arms around her and she was curled up looking at an old photo.

"Got'em." I said setting them on the table and sitting on the foot stool.

"I don't know if I can do this." Mom said setting her hand on the box but pulling it away. I reached for the box opening it and giving her a nod.

"Mom, you're the strongest woman I know you can do this, dad and I had to help each other and we will help you." I said reassuringly. She nodded and reached into the box grabbing out some photo's.

I sat on the couch a while later after we had gone threw almost one box and three albums full of photo's going over everything and telling stories. The sun had set hours ago and mom and dad were in cooking some dinner. I was trying to give them some time alone. I could tell I was being watched from the doorway of the kitchen and I gave the slightest smile.

"I know your watching me." I said looking towards the doorway.

"Were your spidey senses tingling?" I laughed

"That's totally something Castle would say." She came to sit on the couch next to me and I turned to face her.

"Are, you making the right decision Katie?" She asked and I paused pondering the question and how say everything.

"Do you remember when I was in High School and I said how when and if I got married I wanted it to be like your relationship with dad, that persons Castle. He's a great friend, a better son, an even better father and without him I don't know that I would be here. And I don't mean that figuratively."

"Do you trust him to not break your heart?" She asked.

"I do now, but it took a tragedy to show me that he really was there for me."

"I'm guessing the tragedy was you getting shot."

"He watched me get shot and he saw the life drain out of me and he saw what happened to me in the wake of everything. But not once did he leave ore push me like anyone else on the other side would, he saw where I stood and he stood with me, always."

"What happened?" she asked and I didn't need to ask what she meant when she said that. I explained the shooting as best I could leaving out the parts I still couldn't comfortably talk about but still being truthful she deserved to know so much, and so little I could tell her. When I finished she looked at me floored by what I had told her and I pulled my shirt down the extra few inches to show the still noticeable scar, a perfectly round bullet hole where the sniper had tried to kill me. When she saw what I was revealing she let out a gasp and I pulled my shirt up again.

"Mom, I learned not to look back on that day and just remember what happened, because I know I almost died and I've come close to death many times. Instead I remember that and I thank God that I'm still here and I promised myself that I'm going to live because I have something worth living for and I may have scars but those are just something that remind me that I wont be here forever. Just look at Johanna's irrefutable law of the Universe." I smiled and she gave a tiny laugh

"Life never delivers anything we can't handle." I nodded.

"I can live with scars and because of that law I can have the courage to overcome anything, though if this baby is anything like Rick I'm screwed , I can't handle another Rick." I laughed laying my hand on my stomach I gave a small smile. I could tell she was avoiding reaching out and toughing my swollen belly, grasping her wrist I pulled her hand closer and laid it on my stomach in between kicks gently laying my hand on hers. She slid closer and I pulled myself up on the couch a little more.

"I take it you and Rick don't know what your having?" She asked giving a small grin as the baby kicked again.

"No, we just decided it would be more fun to find out once it was born." I smiled and I heard dad drop a pan then curse.

"Sweet heart you ok?" Mom asked smiling and giving an eye roll.

"Fine everything's fine." He said, I frowned something didn't feel right.

"Time you laid off the alcohol I think." Mom laughed but I didn't.

"What do you mean?" I asked using the voice I usually save for killers, and Castle.

"Nothing, we just had a glass of wine together while we made dinner." I jumped up and ran into the kitchen, dad stood there drinking a glass of red wine practically falling over. I took it and dumped the rest into the sink as he reached for it at the same time. I walked towards him and forced him into the wall.

"How much, and don't lie." I pleaded looking into his eyes, they looked like someone who was drunk out of their mind.

"Katie, what is going on?" mom asked but I never took my eyes off him.

"Go ahead dad tell her." He looked down avoiding both our eyes.

"Tell me what?"

"How he is an alc…" He cut me off by bringing his hand up and striking me in the jaw, the last time he did that was when I let him sit in jail for one night knowing that he would be away from the alcohol for at least one night.

"Jim." Mom screamed at him.

"I'm sorry Katie." He tried to give me a hug but I stepped back.

"Dad, don't apologize to me, I'm fine and I know you didn't mean to just tell mom, she deserves to know." He nodded and looked to face her.

"After you were kidnapped they wrote it off as murder and stopped looking altogether, I took all of it the hardest and I started to turn to alcohol as my friend, Katie helped me to get sober. I had been so for 8 years." He explained. Mom looked from him to me finally landing on him and she walked over placing her hands on his face and making him look her in the eyes.

"I still love you and I'm sorry that I made you drink." She kissed him softly and I looked away all of a sudden finding the floor tiles very interesting.

Dinner was of course good and I watched as mom ate, everything was still just so surreal I felt as if it was still a dream that would wake up from at any minute if I wasn't careful.

"So How's the wedding planning coming?" dad asked.

"We have a date now for sure and we are getting the invitations out within the next couple months. I hope."

"What's the date?" Mom asked

"November 15th it gives us enough time to go on a one week honeymoon, but Rick is keeping the location a secret." I laughed.

"When's the baby due?" mom asked.

"Same day as your birthday." I said smiling.

"Lucky baby." Mom bragged and I laughed, a true laugh.

"Yah 'cuz he is going to have two grandparents who spoil him." Dad smiled and I just rolled my eyes.

"It will be spoiled enough having Richard Castle as a father." I said sighing.

"I don't know this is his second you may be surprised." Dad contradicted.

"Are you kidding, this could be his third and he would still spoil it to death. He's good cop and I'm stuck with bad cop." I huffed.

"But sometime the bad cop is the one who getting farthest in life." dad said and mom smacked his arm.

'Yah thanks for that mom." I smiled at her, dad glared at me. "Oh come on we both know mom was the bad cop and you were the one who caved in and was over protective. Though that helped to."

"You'll do a great job as a mom no matter if you're good or bad cop." Mom smiled.

"Well at least the cop part comes naturally." I joked.

"Speaking of that, how did you ever become a cop." Mom asked

"Do we really have to talk about this, I just got you back, and Katie, well I have to live with the decision she made. So can we not talk about the one thing that brings everything up again?" Dad said as he stood up, storming out of the kitchen. I sighed and held back tears, this was all my fault.

"This is my fault." mom said and I looked up at her shocked.

"He's been threw a lot, we all have. He loves you and I think the fact he has a second chance scares the hell out of him, just give him some time. He needs to know that you still love his as much as you did when you married him." Kate felt silly for the question she was dying to ask, but she beat her to it.

"You know I missed you so much while I was going threw what I did, I was so worried I would never see you again. I never wanted to miss a minute of your life." Mom said whipping away the tears. I reached out and took her hand in mine.

"Don't worry you still don't have to." Johanna nodded, smiling a little.

"I'm gunna' go talk to him." Mom sighed getting up. As she walked past I stood up and threw my arms around her.

"I missed you to mom." She smiled and nodded at me and went upstairs.

Well Please don't hit me I know, I hope you liked it and will keep reading. Please let me know what you think, that's the whole reason I'm posting this. Oh and chapter 7 should be up fairly soon, I hope!


	7. Chapter 7

**Note: Sorry that this has taken a while to get up, this chapter takes place right after the last chapter only is in Johanna's perspective. Comment what you think and Enjoy.**

Chapter 7 (Johanna's POV)

Johanna stood in the doorway to their bedroom watching him. He was still that man she had fallen in love with, but something had changed in those years that she had been gone, though she still couldn't put her finger on it. His head was in his hands as he sat on the edge of the bed. What did she say? That she never meant for any of this to happen. That she still loved him more than life itself. Didn't he know that already, they had been married for twenty amazing years of nothing but loving each other. She knew that a lifetime would never be long enough for the amount of time she wanted to spend with him. But didn't every love story end in a happy ending? Maybe now was their second chance at forever.

"You know, the last time I stood in this doorway and you were sitting on the bed with your head in your hands was when I had told you I was pregnant with Katie." She smiled but he didn't say anything. "Jim, please look at me. Can't we start at the beginning again, or where we left off? I had to give you up once already and I never want to have to do that again. But please just look at me." She paused and he slowly lifted his head and she smiled at him.

"How can we start at the beginning again when we don't know what that is? How am I supposed to pretend like none of this happened?" Jim asked and Johanna walked over and sat next to him, taking his hand in hers.

"Well, we should start by me telling you that, I never stopped loving you and I think the best way to handle all of this is to take it one step at a time. And keep what happened as our reminder that we don't have forever. We have this, right now, and I know that I don't want to miss anymore of this." She said watching him carefully, he smiled and looked down at their intertwined fingers.

"How did I ever get so lucky to have such an amazing wife." He asked as he kissed her forehead.

"I was the lucky one, without you I would of never had real reason to live. I fought because I wanted to see you again." He tried to stop her from saying anything more but she held his hand tighter. "I don't know how many times I thought that I wasn't going to make it and how giving up would be so much easier. But then I thought of you and Kate, and how all I wanted was to see you. And that one thought got me threw so much. Please don't be the one to give up on me now, not after what I've been threw." She finished and wiped a tear from her cheek. Pulling her closer he held her tightly in his arms trying to sooth the sobs.

"I would never give up on you Jo', I'm sorry if you thought that. This is just what I've been praying for since that night and it's all a little hard to take in." She pushed away from him looking angry.

"Jim, you don't understand the beginning of hard, you weren't the one who has to come back and not know anything that has happened in those 14 years that you've been locked up and had no connection to the outside world. You didn't have to come back and find out everything you have left has changed so much. I wasn't able to be there for our daughters graduation, or when she and Rick got engaged; I didn't get to be there when Katie told you that she was pregnant or help with planning her wedding or helping to go baby shopping. So don't tell me how hard it is for you right now." Johanna said threw the tears.

"You're right, I don't know. But, watching the woman I love have to deal with all this is what make's it so hard. I hate to see either of my girls hurt. And the fact that I don't know how to help is what's killing me right now. I'm supposed to be the protector and I don't know how to do it." Jim admitted.

"All I want is for you to be my husband. Do you think you can handle the challenge?" She smiled and he chuckled.

"I don't know, this woman wouldn't happen to have the most beautiful eyes and an even prettier smile would she?"

"Yes and she thinks he is pretty good looking as well."

"Well in that case it shouldn't be to hard, besides, I already fell in love with her once." Jim said leaning in and kissing her lips gently, she kissed back a little harder and relaxed in his arms.

"I love you Jim." She said when they ended there kiss.

"I love you too." He said making his arms go tighter around her and smelling her hair.

Johanna walked down the stairs pulling one of her husbands shirts tighter around her. Kate was sitting in the living room on her lap top, the TV playing in the background. Johanna laughed when she realized what it was making Kate look up at her and smile.

"Wow, Temptation Lane is still on after all these years?" She said as she sat on the couch with Kate.

"Yah, these are re-runs though."

"What are you looking at." Johanna asked pointing at the lap top.

"Nothing, just checking E-mail." She replied shutting the computer. "So I take it that everything went ok with you and dad?" Johanna nodded, turning to face her daughter.

"Yah, but now I want to talk to you." She said and Kate sighed.

"Ok, what do you want to know." Kate asked.

"Well I had wanted to know what made you become a cop."

"It started after you got kidnapped, the cops had written it of as a 'random wayward event' and 'likely homicide'. The fact that they gave up looking just made me so mad, and that they didn't get how you were my mom and just saying it was murder wasn't good enough… So I signed up for the academy. The first few years I dug myself a hole and studied every detail of your case, things they missed, anything. It took a long time but I got to a point where I had to step back. Then when we found the guy who had killed your co-workers I thought that maybe I would finally find out the truth."

"What happened?"

"I had to shoot him before I could get any answers from him." Johanna looked shocked. "I didn't have choice, it was shoot him or let Castle get shot." Kate said.

"I'm so sorry." Johanna said laying her hand on top of Kate's.

"Why don't we talk a little happier." Kate sighed.

"Sounds like a good idea, so tell me about you and Rick. How did he propose to you?" Johanna asked smiling. Kate smiled and excitedly told her about how he proposed.

"It was perfect, though it wasn't as fun as I would have hoped. There was no alcohol involved, it was kind of disappointing." Kate frowned.

"Usually that's frowned upon when your pregnant." Johanna laughed, Kate smiled.

"Darn, it's hard to solve a case and not go out for drinks with the boys." Kate said.

"Oh I remember not being able to do that." Johanna said smiling.

"That was… like, 33 years ago."

"Has it been that long? It seems like it was just last week." Kate rolled her eyes at her grinning a little.

"You know I could use some help with the baby stuff when I get a little closer to my due date." Kate said, Johanna smiled and Kate slid closer to her leaning against her side.

"I missed you Katie Bug." She whispered in her ear wrapping her arms around her.

"I missed you to mom." Kate said as a tear ran down her cheek.

"Temptation Lane?"

"Absolutely." Kate smiled turning on the TV to her favorite show. Johanna smiled and pulled her daughter closer, it was like Kate was nine all over again and they were sitting at home curled up on the couch and watching their favorite soap opera. But Kate wasn't nine anymore, now she was an adult and was starting her own family. Just having that second chance with her was more than enough for Johanna.

**Really hope you liked it. The next chapter should be up soon, I have yet to start it but hope to have it up in the next few weeks. If you have any ideas for the story I would love to hear them, or just tell me what you think of it. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 **

"So why don't you tell me about the night you were kidnapped Mrs. Beckett."

I stood watching from the other side of the two way mirror as Esposito talked to my mother. It had only been a day since we had found her at that motel in Jersey, the men who were with her were in lock-up, of course non of them would say who had hired them or who had planned it. It wasn't any of them though, they had no connection to anyone in the case.

"I went to the ally and it was late, I was only going to look around to see what it like at night. Only when I was in their a car came down the ally. I went to step off to the side, thinking it was a truck dropping something off, But when it got in front of me it stopped and two men got out and grabbed me… I tried to fight them off but they where to strong and they threw me in the back of the van and sped off." Esposito stopped her with a question.

"Do you remember what the van looked like."

"It was a white electrician van."

"Ryan check out stolen electrician vans that were stolen in that area back then." I said to Ryan who was standing next to me, he nodded and went out.

"They have records from that far back?" Castle asked, I only nodded and looked back into the interrogation room. I wasn't exactly listening to what they were saying, only watching my mom. My eyes started to sting with tears as I caught some of what she said they did to her. Castle's hand shot up to the speakers and shut them off so I couldn't hear anymore of what she was saying. He stepped closer and wrapped me up in his arms letting my cry into his chest.

"She's okay now Kate, she's safe." Rick whispered as he held me close.

"For now, but what happens when they come after her the next time only they don't let her live. I don't want to lose my mom again Castle." I said bitterly.

"Were going to find him before he can hurt her. He isn't getting away with this." He replied, I looked up at him grinning.

"Thank you." I said before kissing him.

"Always." He said kissing me back.

"PDA people, get a room." Esposito said walking in, my mom behind him.

"We had one till you walked in, ever think of knocking?" Rick said, earning himself a glair from Esposito.

"Their wouldn't be a problem if you two weren't all gaga over each other." Esposito retorted.

"Oh and you and Lanie aren't at all." I said as I walked out past them.

"Hey, we don't suck-face in front of you guys."

"No you do it in front of my daughter in the morgue." Castle said making me laugh.

"Not like she doesn't see it at home." Esposito replied as we all made our way to our desks.

"You know there is a difference between Suck-face and Kissing." I said behind me.

"Yah, one of them you can't breath." Castle and Esposito said at the same time, causing them to look at each other. That was the end to that conversation.

"Is this what you two talk about everyday." Mom asked when we sat down at my desk.

"No, but there is a lot of teasing each other." I smiled.

"Yah, were like one big, very dysfunctional family." Castle said pulling up a rolly chair since mom was sitting in his.

"Beckett, I got that list. Their weren't any vans stolen but their were a few rented out that day and well look who got one around that time." Ryan said handing me a photo.

"That son of a bitch." Castle said looking over my shoulder at the photo.

"We don't now for sure it was him." I said glairing at him, turning to my mom I showed her the photo, "Mom do you recognize him?" Mom took the photo studying it before nodding.

"Yes, he's older now but it's him. I don't know his name but he came around a few times to try and jerk me around. From the way it looked he was the one in charge." Mom explained, Castle stood in a fury and stormed into the break room. All I could do was sit and watch, I would let him cool down then go in and talk to him.

"Ryan look into anyway he would be connected to the case or the detectives." I barked, Ryan nodded and went to work.

"Who is that?" Mom asked, I sighed heavily.

"That, is Alexander Langwell, head of the CIA and Rick's dad." I said watching Rick in the break room.

"I take it he was close with his dad?"

"No, he grew up never even knowing who his dad was, then a few years ago we were helping the CIA and well that led to us finding him almost a year ago. I always knew that guy creped me out." I explained looking back at her.

"You should go, I'll be fine here." She said looking to the break room.

"Thanks." I said getting up. Rick was standing over the espresso machine his fists clenched to the counter, knuckles white. I walked over grabbing an NYPD mug from the top of the Coffee machine and poring in some decaf coffee.

"You ok?" I asked leaning against the counter stirring my coffee slowly.

"What am I supposed to do? He is the reason all this happened to your family. Kate, he helped in killing people, hell he tried to kill you. He put you threw this." Rick said looking at me, the pain in his eyes unbearable.

"I'll tell you what we are going to do. We are going to show him what the NYPD is made of and we are going to give him what he deserves. I know this is hard, but we have to look past the fact he's your father and into the reality of things." I said laying my hand on his.

"Kate I want him to have justice it's just…"

"He's your father and the reason I had a gunshot to the heart." I finished.

"Yah." He said standing up. "But lets book'em." Castle said making me smile a little, giving a slight nod of agreement. I pored another cup of coffee for my mom and walked back out, Rick following close behind.

"Hey, where'd my mom go?" I ask seeing she wasn't sitting at my desk anymore.

"Evidently she and Gate's are old friends and she went to talk to her." I looked over to see that mom was sitting talking with Gates in her office. I frowned, why hadn't Gates ever told me about this.

"Earth to Kate… Babe is everything okay?" Castle said waving his hand in front of me.

"Oh sorry." I said coming back down to earth, I sat down at my desk as Rick started talking to me.

_Johanna (POV):_

"I'm worried about Kate, she told me last night about getting shot. She's been threw so much, all I want to do is protect her, I should protect her." I frowned.

"Johanna she's the best detective here, you should be proud of her. But she's been threw more than she's telling you, and she's always had an amazing strength to pull threw anything." Victoria smiled.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Well, your case has been the biggest one. But give her time, she'll tell you when she's ready. She works hard and she doesn't look for someone, she hunts. But she has trouble following rules." I laughed.

"She always had some trouble with that." I smiled.

"Well she's the only one who can get herself and Castle kidnapped and almost eaten by a tiger." Victoria said, I looked at her confused.

"She almost got eaten by a tiger?" She only nodded.

"When I first met her, I always thought Castle was a road block, but he's changed her. Trust her." Victoria said. I nodded looking out at Kate and Rick talking and the obvious smile on both their faces. I smiled nodding.

"Kate was the one person I wanted to know how sorry I was, the one thing I wanted to get back to. I just always expected it to be sooner rather than later, I sure didn't expect her to be a homicide detective." I sighed.

"Hey she isn't just any homicide detective, she's lead." Victoria smiled.

"She always did shoot for the stars." I laughed.

"I always knew she reminded me of someone, I just never realized you were her mom. You raised an amazing woman Jo, one with a huge heart." She smiled, I only rolled my eyes. Kate walked over and rapped on the door lightly. "Come in detective Beckett."

"Sir, I needed you to approve a warrant for an arrest." She said handing Victoria the folder. She put on some glasses and looked it over.

"Do you have more probable cause?" She asked setting the file down.

"Well no, but that's why we want to bring him in for questioning." Kate said confidently.

"He's a trained CIA operative and Castle's father, I doubt you can break him. Let alone get him to talk."

"Castle won't be joining me, Esposito will." Victoria sighed finally signing her name and handing it to Kate. "Don't let me regret signing this." She huffed, Kate only smiled.

"Sir, why didn't you ever tell me you two knew each other?" Kate asked looking at her.

"I lost touch with your mom after high school, I knew she got married but I never realized she was even your mom until the other day." I smiled at her, Kate nodded.

"well, thank you for this. Mom I got you some coffee if you want some." Kate said, I only nodded and she walked out.

"It was good talking to you Victoria." I said giving her a hug.

"I'm glad your ok." She smiled. I smiled back. I wasn't about to tell her I was far from ok.

_Kate (POV): _

"Gates signed it, why don't you boys go pick him up." I said throwing the file onto Ryan's desk before sitting at my own. Mom walked out and sat back down reaching for the cup.

"What should I do while I'm here?" She asked before taking a sip of coffee.

"I could use some insight on this case, I need to find our connections between people." I said pointing at the board. It looked like a spider web of photo's and red lines connecting everyone.

"I probably know less than you do." She frowned. I stood up and she followed me sitting on the edge of my desk facing the board.

"So this whole thing started with Raglin, McAlister, and Montgomery when they accidentally killed an undercover FBI Agent, Bob Armand after an attempted kidnapping went south. They then pinned the murder on Joe Polgatie." I explained.

"That was when you came into play, the three men hired kidnapped you then Dick Coonen was hired to kill the three co-workers." Castle continued.

"Then, two years ago Raglin got a hold of me and Castle and I met him at a diner. He said he had information about you, we know think he was going to tell us you were still alive. But Hal Lockwood was hired to get rid of him before he could tell us. Months later Hal Lockwood got into General Population and killed Joe Polgatie, which got rid of any and all people who knew the truth. Except one, Roy Montgomery, Lockwood escaped during a court hearing and we tried tracking him for days. Roy called me to meat me at a hanger at the air port, Lockwood came shortly after and he was there to kill me…"

"Only I was there and snuck her out the back." Castle said.

"Right, anyway, Lockwood and his gang were all killed and so was Roy. Then at the funeral I was giving the eulogy and that's when the sniper tried to take me out. So there you go that is the entire case in a nutshell." I sighed taking another swig of coffee.

"So, it all started with Polgatie and Armand?" Mom asked. I nodded as Kerpouski walked up handing me a file.

"Thanks, this I hope will prove Alexander's connection." I opened the file flipping the pages reading carefully. "Castle… These are the names of all the kidnapped victims, according to this all fifteen of them were wanted for information by the CIA."

"So, they were helping the CIA?" Castle questioned.

"Yah, they would kidnap the people and get the ransom, and the CIA got to get the information they needed." I said watching Castle and his face, the cute little glint in his eye when he was on to something.

"And back then my dad would have been the head of the CIA. So they were his responsibility…"

"Then when things went south while trying to get Polgatie it was his ass on the line." I butted in.

"So he had them pin the whole thing on Polgatie so it wouldn't be reviled what they were up to." We were inches apart now, our eyes locked as we finished each others thoughts.

"So when you started looking into the case mom Alexander hired the men to kidnap you." I said turning to face her. "Raglin wrote it off as 'a random wayward event' because he was scared of the CIA and what they would do. All that's happened has been to stop anyone from finding out the truth."

_I can do this, I am a lion and he is my prey. He has stepped into my lair and is wounded, I will take him down just as he tried to do to me. _


	9. Chapter 9

"Mr. Langwell what was your connection to Johanna Beckett?" I asked, the gray haired man sat frozen in place across from me. He was like a statue, no emotion, no movements, nothing.

"She asked you a question." Esposito said leaning into the table.

"I'm afraid I have no idea who you are talking about." Langwell said, looking towards Esposito.

"Maybe this will jog your memory." I said pulling a photo of my mom from the file and sliding it over to him.

"oh, her. I know her, but I had nothing to do with what happened to her." He smirked.

"really? Because she tells us that she remembers seeing you multiple times where her kidnappers were holding her and she thinks you were in charge." Esposito glared.

"Are you going to trust the woman who has been held captive for years?" Langwell leaned forward and locked his eyes with mine.

"Well luckily for us those boys of yours broke and admitted that you hired them." _Lie. _" Since you have an explanation for everything why don't you explain that one."

He froze, but a grin widened across his face. His eyes still on mine.

"You know detective, you look so much like her. And is seams you are as good in bed as she is." He said smiling, giving me a wink. I stiffened my bottom jaw. "But I was so hopping you had died when I shot you at the funeral."

"Maybe I would be if you were a better sniper." I retorted, never taking my eyes off him.

"Or maybe you shouldn't have been digging into things you shouldn't." He spat.

"Would that be Johanna Beckett's case or what really happened the night Bob Armand was killed and the things you were hiding?" Esposito asked.

"Because, we both know that you were hiding something. Something you didn't want anyone to know about." I continued.

"And what might that be detective?"

"That your moles in the 12th were doing your dirty work for you and kidnapping people wanted for information by the CIA. You got answers, they got the money. Only you couldn't afford the consequences if it was ever found out what you were doing, so you did everything to keep it from leaking out."

He smiled.

"A+ for detective Beckett. But now if only you can prove it." He grinned.

"Well then, it's good we recorded the interrogation." I smiled pointing to the camera.

"This isn't over, your mommy won't be around for much longer. I'll see to that."

"While you do that, I am going to do everything in my power to keep her safe. You walked into my territory the moment you set foot in here, and just like a lion I hunt my kill." I said threw gritted teeth. Esposito got up and opened the door of the interrogation room, motioning for the officer. I waited till Langwell was out of the room before I exited behind them. I had no more came out when all hell broke loose.

I saw her standing off to the side watching, Castle standing a few feet from her glairing at his father. A chill ran threw me. Something was going to happen. I looked a Espo, he could feel it to. His had rested gently on his gun. There was a thud. Then a grunt and the officer fell to the ground. Then the glint of the gun in his hand. He had it pointed at her.

_Bang_

_Bang_

_Bang. Bang _

_Silence. _

I still had my gun pointed at him as he lay on the ground rolling in pain, so did Esposito. Mom was steadying herself against the wall, Castle had pushed her out of the way.

_Castle? Oh God Castle, come on move. No…. No, no, no, this can't happen. But the blood, it's all over, seeping threw his blue shirt. _

I put my gun back in the holster and ran over to his side. He was hit in the abdomen just above his left hip bone. I put my hand on it to stop the bleeding. Kneeling down I lifted his head up in my trembling hands.

"Castle, babe stay with me. Come on, you can't give up on me." I said, holding back tears as his eyes grew heavy.

I couldn't hear anyone around me. The shouts muffled behind the rapid beating of my own heart. I never looked away from him, I was going to be there just as he had for me. Mom knelt down and laid her hand on my shoulder. The paramedics were here. I nodded and Esposito came to help me up. Her arms felt warm against me as she pulled me close, I tried to not touch her with my bloody hand.

_He had to survive, for me, for Alexis, for his mother, for the baby. How was I supposed to tell Alexis and Martha? And there was so much blood. No, I can't do this to myself. He will be fine. He will survive. _


	10. Chapter 10

**I know you all probably hate me right about now, sorry. Just wanted to clarify some things before you read. In case you couldn't figure it out Castle's dad has been behind everything and is the reason all these people are dead. He hired men because he hoped it wouldn't be traced back to him, obviously he never met Beckett, when Beckett's mom started digging into things he had her kidnapped. So I think that should explain it better. I'll let you get on with the chapter. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 10**

_Why were hospitals always so bright, but yet so dark? It's like someone's sick interpretation of life. Yah, that was it. _

I thought to myself as I paced in the waiting room. I would do, and think, anything so I wouldn't have to consider the matter at hand. That was proving to be extremely hard. Now I knew how everyone else felt when I got shot.

My mind was like a continuous movie real, all I could do was replay what had just happened over and over. No one was saying anything, it was a dead silence. I wished my mind could be like that. I sat down next to mom, putting my head in my hands, my head was pounding and I felt sick to my stomach.

"I just called Martha, she and Alexis are on the way. He'll be alright Beckett." Esposito said sitting down next to me, laying his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. I looked at him as I felt the tears form in the corner of my eye.

"Javi, what am I supposed to do? I can't sit here and do nothing." I cried. He slid his hand down my arm and took my hand.

"I know, but right now that's really all we can do. He loves you Beckett. You and I know it's not in his nature to just give up." He said reassuring me. How was it he was so sweet.

"Thank you… For everything, not just this." I said giving a half smile.

"It's what friends do. You would do the same for me if I ever needed someone." I nodded and nudged his shoulder. He smiled, rolling his eyes at me.

_He was my life, my always, he was the glue that held me together. Yet, it was because of him that I was splitting at the seem right now. I felt dead inside, like my heart had been ripped out of me. It had, I had felt it when I heard that first shot. God, why did he have to always do that risk his life to protect someone else crap? He had me and Alexis and the baby. Did he just not get how heartbroken all of us would be if something happened? I had told him to keep my mom out of danger in case things went wrong. But I hadn't meant for this to happen. Hell, I hadn't meant for any of this to happen but it still did. _

I wanted to pull out my hair, scream, hit someone, ANYTHING to get out of my head for a little while. If it had been about 15 years ago I would have gone for something good. Or six months ago I would go for a drink. Instead the most I could do now is to cry to myself. I laid my hand on my stomach, the one reminder that I had a life inside me I was currently committed to.

"Where is he? Where's Rick?" Martha asked hurriedly as she ran into the waiting room.

"Martha, they took him to surgery." I said getting up. Alexis looked at me and ran over wrapping her arms around me. "He'll be alright Alexis." I whispered as I let the teen cry into my shoulder and ran my fingers threw her long hair.

"What happened?" Martha asked when Alexis pulled out of the hug, her arm still around my waist.

"He tried to push me out of the way and he got shot." Mom spoke up, standing up next to me.

"You must be Johanna." Martha commented. "Kate's always said good things about you. I'm Martha Rodgers, Rick's mother." She said smiling politely.

"I wish this was under different circumstances, but it's a pleasure to meat you." Mom said.

"Mom this is Alexis, who I was telling you about." I said, Alexis just smiled.

"I'm so sorry about all of this, I should of stayed out of the way but I didn't and now… this happened." Mom clenched her jay, her eyes jutting to the ground.

"Johanna it wasn't your fault. Richard has the tendency to try and be the hero without thinking first." Martha commented.

"When I got shot he pushed me to the ground, I mean it was to late but it changed everything." I said looking over at my mom.

"I just feel guilty."

"Mom it's not your fault that he got shot. Alexander pulled the trigger, not you." I said, Alexis let go and I took my moms hand.

"Yes, his own father did this. Not you." Martha said disgusted.

"Will you be alright Martha?" I asked, watching her as she slid into a chair.

"Kate, will you tell me something?"

"Yah, of course."

"Did Alexander shoot you at the funeral?" Martha asked looking at me pleadingly.

"Yah, he admitted to that and being behind everything else." Martha laid her head back against the wall.

"Johanna." dad called as he walked into the waiting room. "Are you ok? I saw what happened on the news and then Ryan called me. I thought… I didn't know what happened." He sad as he wrapped her in his arms.

'I'm fine, Rick pushed me out of the way." Mom replied as she hugged him back.

"Is Rick ok?" He asked breaking the hug and looking at me.

'He's still in surgery." I replied sitting back down. Alexis sat down next to me and laid her head on my shoulder.

"He has three people in this room he is absolutely going to continue to fight for. And everyone else here is thinking of him." Dad said pulling mom closer to him.

"Your dad's right, we all want him to pull out of this as much as you do. Besides if Detective Kate Beckett can survive a bullet to the heart then her plucky sidekick can survive this." Esposito smiled, he handed me a coffee and passed around the tray for everyone else.

"No, he's my partner… Plucky sidekicks always get killed. Castle and I established this a long ago." I said taking a sip of my coffee.

'_Rather you like it or not I am your plucky sidekick.' he had said to me one night._

'_Plucky sidekick always gets killed.' I replied, watching as he took a seat on my couch. _

'_Partner then.' I looked at him and smiled, that was better than any plucky sidekick I knew of. _

I smiled to myself as I thought of that night. It had changed everything I thought I knew. We had changed our entire lives after that night.

The double doors opened and a doctor walked out, his mask down around his neck, his surgical cap still on his head as he wiped a bead of sweet off his forehead.

"Are you all here for Rick Castle?" He asked, Martha stood up.

"I'm his mother, how is he?" I stood up and walked up beside her, everyone was standing now.

"He's stable, luckily the bullet missed any major organs. But he had major internal bleeding that we were able to get under control before it did to much damage." The doctor relayed, we all sighed in relief.

"When can we see him?" I asked. "I'm his fiancé."

"We still need to get him settled in a room but once he's settled you can see him." He smiled kindly.

"Thank you." Martha smiled, he only nodded. I wanted to jump up and down in excitement, he was okay. I ran my fingers threw my hair, smiling.

_He's alive, he loves me, were having a baby and HE'S ALIVE! _


	11. Chapter 11

**I know a lot of you are probably mad at me for leaving you hanging like that. I have had little time and little ideas for my writing. Basically I have been lazy and not felt like doing anything lol. Well Here is the next chapter for you! Enjoy**

Chapter 11

I watched as he slept, his chest rising and falling as he breathed, a bandage wrapped around his abdomen. The beeping of the machines never synchronized and seemed to be the loudest thing in the room. I leaned back in the chair and laid my hand on my stomach, smiling as the baby kicked. I looked back up at Rick, all I wanted was for him to wake up and say that I just needed to wake up and this would all be some messed up dream. I reached out and took his limp hand.

"No matter how much I appreciate all that you did to protect my mom, I still need you in my life. This baby needs you. Please, wake up Rick and tell me you love me and you love this baby. Please." I pleaded, starting to cry.

I loved being pregnant but this whole hormonal changes and mood swings were really annoying.

I squeezed his hand and closed my eyes, pleading that he would wake up. Just a squeeze to tell me everything would be alright… Nothing. My phone started ringing next to me and I picked it up to see who it was. _Dad. _I sighed and hit the accept button.

"Hello?" I asked picking up.

"Hey sweetie how's Rick?" Dad asked, he had taken mom home almost an hour ago after I had to force them to go.

"Still no change, but they said that it could be a while before he wakes up. They doped him up pretty good and the doc said his body wants to rest so it can recoup." I said, all while watching Rick sleep.

"The doctor's right, just be patent. He'll be up soon enough." He reassured, I hears mom ask how Rick was doing on the other end and smiled. She didn't even know him, all she knew was that I was in love with him and what I had told her about him. Yet she still wanted him to be okay, it was refreshing to know that she was still the amazing woman I was raised by.

"Dad you should go, it's your first night with mom home and no one else there. I'll be alright, Alexis and Martha are coming back soon." I said glancing at the door.

"Alright, but call, please." I told him I would and to tell mom I loved her before hanging up.

It felt so weird having her back, it was like one big dream. I didn't understand how it could have gone so far, or how she had survived all those years of being held captive. I admired her strength and her faith she had to even begin to pull threw. I wondered if Rick had the same. I took his hand again and ran my thumb over the top of his hand. The longing to have his arms wrapped around me in their warm embrase was mind-bending at the least, when all I wanted right now was to feel safe and be able to sleep in my own bed with him there with me.

After about fifteen minoutes I felt his hand turn under mine and his fingers graze the underside of my wrist. I looked up at him, his eyes wer heavy and he looked exhausted, but I could see those brilent blue eyes. I smiled at him.

"Hey Castle." I beamed as I held tighter to his hand.

"Hey babe." He whispered half smiling, a glint of pain in his eyes.

"Are you alright?" I asked leaning in to push the call button.

"Peachy, besides the stabbing pain." He grimiced. The nurse walked in, she was young and bubbly and I could see she was a Richard Castle fan, oh if she only knew.

"Good to see your awake Mr. Castle, we would hate to leave Nikki without her Rook." She smiled. "I'm Amanda, I'll be your nurse. And I take it your family." I saw her glance at my stomach, damb.

"I'm Kate, the woman who Nikki's based off of." I said smirking.

"Well then… Is there anything I can get you Mr. Castle? Once I take your vitals of course." She said after an awkward pause.

"No, but thank you." He smiled. She took his vitals and said she would tell the doctor he was awake. We both thanked her and she left us alone.

"I was so worried about you." I said sitting on the side of the bed beside him and taking his hand in mine.

"I'm fine Kate, you don't have to worry." He said squeezing my hand.

"But I did, and I always will. I love you Rick and don't want to ever have to go threw this again. I just got my mom back and then I almost lost the love of my life, who almost died trying to protct her." I cried.

" I know and I'm sorry." He apologized never taking his eyes off me.

"The thing is I don't know if I want to hit you or kiss you right now. You risked your life to give me my mom."

'Please don't hit me." He pleaded. I smiled and leaned down to him. Our noses touched and I hovered there before closing the distance locking our lips together. When I pushed off I keept my forhead against his a little longer as he combed his fingers threw my hair, my eyes closed. "I love you Kate… Always."

**Well I hope you liked it. Kinda short but I know I had people waiting to read it so I wanted to make it happy. I kneed two things from you guys because you are so awesome. **

**A.) I need suggestions on things you would like to see happen and/or character suggestions.**

**B.) I also am making sets on polyvore and need some ideas on who would play Becketts mom. I know some people have probably thought of this or know actresses that would work great for her. **

**Ok that's it. Wait for the next instalment! **


	12. Chapter 12

**Johanna Beckett: **

I lay in my bed in the dark room, I could feel Jim sleeping next to me. I wanted anything to be able to sleep, but the fear was to much. I would get close to sleep and be woken up in a panic at the simplest of noises. Ever since my kidnapping I had feared going to sleep like a child fears the monsters leering under their bed. Only the monsters in my world really did exist. They carried guns and would do things to you, mentally and physically. I had wanted so badly to get out, but now my freedom was treating me like a nightmare. I looked over at the man next to me and smiled at how I could love him after all these years and no matter how much he had changed. I leaned down and kissed his cheek waking him up with a start.

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep." I whispered.

"No your alright, I'm just not used to sleeping in the same bed as someone. Of course the exception is you." He smiled leaning up and kissing my lips softly. I smiled and kissed back.

His hand slid around my waist and pulled me closer to him, still locked in our kiss. My fingers interlaced with his while his kissed my collarbone and ran his other hand up and down my back.

"I missed you." I whispered as I laid my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around him.

"I missed you too." He smiled kissing the top of my head. We stayed silent for the longest time.

"Why didn't you tell me about what had happened to you?" I asked. "You could have just not drank the wine."

"Because I thought I could handle it, thought that if I forced myself I could just not drink anymore. I wanted to be the man you remembered not a recovering alcoholic." He explained watching me closely.

"Jim, you're still the man I remember. I don't care about all that other stuff. I fell in love with you, and that man is still there inside. If anything I'm proud of you and your ability to do what you did. I can't imagine what it was like for you."

"I was lucky that I had a daughter who is just as amazing as her mother." I smiled.

"Speaking of daughters, what should I think of Rick?" I asked.

"I like him personally, I don't think I've ever seen Katie this happy in years. And he's nice so that's a plus." He chuckled, I smiled knowing he was picturing some of our daughters previous boyfriends.

"You make me happy." I smiled at him.

"When I saw you the first time we meat my heart stopped and it did again yesterday when I saw you." He said pushing my hair back behind my ear.

"Mine did too." I said kissing him again.

_Dream:_

_The room was dark, cold and damp. My skin felt leathery from the dirt that settled itself on me. I was tied to a chair as usual and could feel the rope burn from trying to get out of the holds. They burned and I tried to not focus on them. I had no idea where I was. Screams, I could hear screams. From where I had no clue. They seemed to be getting closer along with footsteps. A door opened and I shut my eyes to the sudden light invading the room. Then darkness again as the door clicked shut. I stayed quiet listening to the sounds around me. Heavy breathing. Mine? No, someone else's. My heart pounded inside my chest. A light clicked on above the source of the breathing. Huddled on the floor was Kate. Her body limp and un-moving, blood ran down her arm and down the side of her face. The breathing the only indication she was still alive. I tried to say her name but no words would come out. Nothing I did mattered they still would not come. Kate's body heaved as she tried to catch her breath on the icy air. Her head turned to face me, her eyes full of pain and confusion. She opened her mouth to speak. Her voice was icy and full of hate._

'_If you had been their this would have never happened.'_

_End Dream_

I bolted up, heart pounding and unable to catch my breath. It was only a dream. I tried telling myself. I looked over next to me but Jim was gone. The light from the early morning was coming threw the window. Getting up I went to the bathroom hoping to clear my head with a hot shower.

The shower helped but not as much as I had hoped it would and I went back to the bedroom. Realizing on the way there that I had nothing to wear. When I entered the bedroom there was an outfit on the bed and a note.

_Martha thought you could wear this at least till you get more stuff. This was the less drastic of the outfits! Hope it fits._

_-Kate-_

I smiled and looked at the outfit. It was a little much for my taste but it would have to work for the time being. I slid it on and went downstairs. Jim stood talking to someone a cup of coffee in his hands as he leaned against the cabinet. Kate sat on the edge of the counter holding her own cup, hand rested on her baby bump. I smiled at the image.

"Good morning. Kate what are you doing here?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen.

"I brought the cloths over and dad asked if I wanted some coffee." She replied.

"I had just thought you would be at the hospital with Rick." I said.

" Visiting at the hospital isn't until 10. Besides Rick was pretty tiered when I left last night. I figured I would let him get some rest."

"I take it he's alright then?" I asked walking to the coffee maker and pouring a cup for myself and settling in beside Jim.

"Yah, sore and in a little pain but other than that he was lucky."

"How are Alexis and Martha taking it?" Jim asked.

"Alexis cried when we got home last night for almost an hour. Martha's just relieved nothing worse happened." Kate said and took a sip of coffee.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Better than I was yesterday." She laughed nervously.

"It's hard watching the people you love be hurt and being on the outside." Jim replied watching Kate as she glanced down at the cup.

"It's hard to be the one on the inside too." She replied looking over at him. No one said anything for several minutes. The doorbell rang and Jim went to get it.

"I should go, Castle will start to worry if I don't show up on time." Kate said sliding off the counter and putting her cup in the sink. Just as Jim walked back in the room carrying a folder. "What's that?" she asked.

"I'm not sure but it's for you." He said handing it to Kate who opened it and slid out the contents.

"Dad do you know who sent this?" she asked flipping threw the pages.

"No, why? What is it?"

"Surveillance photo's of mom, castle, and I time stamped yesterday when we had Alexander in custody and some from last night and today."

"So someone is still following us." I asked, Kate froze at the last image.

"Yah, uh… I got to go." she said quickly throwing the images down and grabbed her coat giving me enough time to see what it was.

A photo of Rick in his hospital bed and an X drawn over it in red marker.

**Note: Alright I know I said I would have this up like forever ago but between school and vacation and other stuff it has taken longer than I had wanted. I hope you liked it and please leave a comment on what you think. I really do love the insight. Thanks!**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 (Kate POV)

My heart raced as I tried to reach the 12th precinct. Finally Esposito answered the phone. I explained what was going on and how we needed to protect Castle. I wasn't quite sure what we were going to do but Espo, having been a sniper himself, should know exactly how to protect Castle from the supposed sniper.

"Please tell me you have some idea of how to protect Castle and get this guy all at once." I said as I turned away from my parents house, my tires squealing around the corner as I pulled out of the driveway way too fast.

"Well Castle could play dummy as usual." Esposito cracked, I could tell he had his usual grin plastered on his face despite the tense, serious nature of the conversation.

"Actually that isn't a bad concept, we could make it work." I smiled at my own brilliance.

"I think I see what your saying, I'll take care of it. God I'm a genius." I only rolled my eyes then hung up. It would take me an hour compared to the usual two since I was speeding like a maniac down the streets of Manhattan to the hospital.

My mind was reeling with images of what could be happening to Castle:

A flash of Rick in the back of a van, gagged and blindfolded, waiting for Esposito or Ryan or anyone to come pull his ass out of another situation. But this time the situation wasn't planned and no one would be saving him.

Castle tied up somewhere yelling for me as a man with a gun advances towards him. I imagined him being beaten for the information that he didn't have.

A flash of him laying in his hospital gown, the flap in the back that he was always complaining about, with a bullet hole going through the center of his skull. A loan sniper wiping his rifle of finger prints on a rooftop across the crowded boulevard.

Flash after flash of searing, blinding, possibilities. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes but instead of breaking down again, I jammed my foot down on the gas peddle and tried to concentrate on weaving my way through the crowded, overpopulated streets of Manhattan, New York.

When I arrived at the hospital I ran, as fast as a pregnant woman could, down the hall towards Castle's room police and doctors standing outside. I froze taking a breath not knowing what I was about to walk into. Walking up Espo saw me and came to join me.

"Did it work?" I asked when he got closer.

"Yeah we found him on the roof of the building across the street, but we had to shoot him." I looked at him shocked.

"What happened?" I asked thinking the worst.

"He started shooting at us and one of the officers shot and killed him." I was relieved that he wasn't out there but his statement could have been vital to the case of my mother. "I know you wanted him alive but we had to."

"I know, wait where's Castle now?" I asked.

"He's back in his room, up walking or something. The cops are just leaving." He smiled, I nodded and walked towards the room weaving threw the crowd of cops and into the room closing the door behind me. I paused when I saw Castle asleep in the bed surprised he was able to sleep with all this racket but I figured they must have him on some heavy drugs. I walked over quietly not wanting to wake him.

"Ahhhh…" He yelled when I got closer opening his eyes a huge smirk on his face. I jumped giving out a little yelp breathing hard, smiling and giving a slow nod because he got me. I felt him grab hand and pull me closer to the bed. His other hand came up behind me neck and pulled me down towards him our lips meeting for a long drawn out moment before we both stopped our foreheads still pressed together.

"Glad to see that your feeling better." I smiled pushing myself up. I stood there our hands still locked together. "I was so worried something was going to actually happen to you and I…I wouldn't be here." I said looking down at his hand, only his hand.

"What actually happened? They didn't tell me much details." He asked. I sat down explaining all that had happened and how they had killed the sniper. He nodded listening intently to what had happened. "Hey, they got him. That's all that matters." He said when I finished.

"Castle how are we supposed to know that it's over? You know as much as I do how much deeper this case goes and how many dead end's there are. What if theirs someone else out there?" I said angrily, threw gritted teeth.

"Let's not worry about what there may or may not be out there, For right now lets just be thankful that everyone is safe."

"My mom's not safe until this stops and so far it hasn't. And right now I'm not sure what's so positive in my life right now."

"What's positive is that your mom is not only alive but back, and this." He took my hand in his and pressed it on my stomach. "That heart beat is a life. A life that we created. That's positive. That's what you think about when that light at the end of the tunnel looks so far away." Tears were rolling down my cheeks, a constant waterfall. I nodded at him. We sat in silence holding each other's hand.

"You know I thought of something else positive in my life."

"What might that be?"

"I get to marry my best friend and the love of my life." I smiled.

"I not only get both of those but I also get to marry one of the strongest women I know. Who also laugh's at my jokes." He smiled kissing the top of my hand. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, I was in love and lost in those brilliant blue eyes. I hadn't realized it, but we had been staring into each others eyes for quite some time and we had somehow been getting closer together to the point we were almost kissing when the door to the room flung open and we quickly moved apart.

"Dad, why are there all those cops outside your room? What happened? Are you okay?" Alexis said franticly as she ran into the room. Practically shoving me aside in her haste. I could hardly blame her so I left the room, giving Rick and his daughter some time alone to talk.


	14. Chapter 14

It was almost two weeks before Rick could come home and we had mostly gotten over the fact that maybe someone was still after us.

I slid out from under the silky sheets trying not to wake up Rick. It was still early but I had wanted to make breakfast and surprise him with it. The living room was cold from the February air. Looking at my phone I realized it was valentines day. It would be our first Valentines day "together" as an official couple and I had completely forgotten about it. I would have to get a card later or maybe breakfast would count.

"Now what to fix." I said to myself. "What sounds good to you little one." _that was to my stomach_. "I'm feeling some French toast today, and maybe some bacon." I pulled out the bread and things to make it trying to still be quiet.

"Smells good." Rick said a little while later as he crutched out of the bedroom.

"Oh good. I know it's your favorite." I smiled kissing him on the cheek.

"What's the occasion?"

"Because I love you… And I forgot that today was valentines day." I smirked.

"Oh, well I forgot too. Sorry hon, and it's our first one too."

"Well last year, but then no one knew we were dating." I replied.

"You know what, I'm going to make it up to you. Tonight you are all mine and we can go out to dinner to Remy's."

"Your on crutches, or haven't you noticed." I laughed.

"I don't care. I just want to be with you tonight and have a fun night out with a gorgeous woman." He said grinning.

"Try fat." I replied flipping the toast on the stove.

"No, try pregnant." He smirked.

"Eh you say pregnant I say fat." I said winking at him, we did this all the time, most of the time I meant it though.

"You my dear Kate are the most beautiful woman I have ever meet. And I love you the way you are, pregnant belly and all." He was sitting on the stool and I stood on the other side of the bar. I smiled at him and he took my hands in his, not taking his eyes off mine.

"I just realized what else today is."

"What's that?"

"Today I am officially seven months pregnant." She smiled.

"More reason to celebrate." He replied with a chuckle.

"The French toast should be done." I said going over to the stove.

"I am starving, this may just be the best valentines day ever."

"Yeah, just wait till we have kids. Valentines day will consist of dirty diapers and maybe if were lucky quick crazy sex."

"I'm looking forward to this baby getting here. And I hope it is at least crazy sex." He smirked. "Looks good." He said as I set the plate in front of him.

"thanks, it's diff- Ahhhh."

"What? What is it?" Rick said worriedly. Seeing as I had reached for my stomach.

"Nothing, baby likes kicking me in the ribs really hard." I said rubbing the spot where the baby had kicked me. He laid his hand on top of mine smiling.

"She knows it's her daddy." I had to stop calling the baby she and her.

"You know this waiting thing to know the sex of the baby is really making me frustrated." He said when I finally sat down.

"Yeah, me too, I keep on wanting to just ask the doctor to tell me. Maybe it's a mothering thing. I mean at the time I really didn't want to know, but now…"

"Now you want to know."

"Yeah I say at the next appointment we find out." I said more stating than asking.

"Agree, then everyone can be happy." He smiled as he took a bite of food.

"Could my mom come you think. I just want her to feel like everything is… Normal." I asked.

"Of course you can. Now eat." I laughed and ate my toast… It was defiantly far better than Castle's.

LATER THAT NIGHT:

I walked into our apartment after my quick day at the precinct. Rick was typing on the couch.

"Hey babe." I said walking over and giving him a quick kiss.

"How was work?" He asked shutting his laptop.

"Fine, but ready for our romantic dinner."

"I decided Remy's was far to cheep for a woman of your extraordinariness so I made us reservations at a restaurant I heard has amazing food. Oh and I laid out something I hope you like." He smiled as I turned and walked to our bedroom.

Sure enough he had laid out a dress and heals as well as accessories for me to wear. It was creepy how well he could do with female fashion. I slid out of my cloths and into the dress, checking myself over in the mirror before I walked into the living room. Castle stood up and walked over to me.

"You're not using the crutches." I said surprised.

"Nope, the PT came and said I don't need to use them anymore as long as I am comfortable without them." I smiled and he slid his hands along my waist and pulled me closer to him.

"I love you." I whispered into his ear.

"I love you too." He said as he kissed me passionately, it was amazing how even now every time we kiss he literally still takes my breath away.

"I can't wait to marry you."

"Hey I'm the lucky one. I get the girl."

"Yes but I get the writer every girl would die to have."

"True." I laughed and shook my head.

"Come on writer boy mama's hungry and so is baby." I said pulling him to the door and got my coat.

The restaurant was crowded and even with a reservation we had to wait so we took a seat on the window bench.

"You know we really didn't have to do this." I commented when I noticed him wince as he sat down.

"I'm fine, the stitches just pull sometimes." He said smiled.

"You don't have to be a trooper just for me. I know the feeling." I replied as I leaned against the window.

"I know you do." He said taking my hand and giving it a light squeeze. "And I'm not a trooper. I cried that first night at the hospital 'cuz it hurt so much." He said laughing.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" I asked.

"Because I didn't want you to worry about the pain I was in." He replied.

"Well that worrying theory of yours was way off. I was worried the entire time."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"Worst part is I can't even be mad at you because if you hadn't done what you did my mom would have gotten shot."

"That was all part of the plan get the sympathy card and hero card in one hand. Or shot in this case." He chuckled, only to receive an eye roll from me.

"Well it worked."

"I knew it would." He smirked as he put his arm around me and pulled me closer. Usually I wasn't very public about us as a couple but at that moment I was the happiest girl alive.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

Mom, Rick and I sat in the doctors office before my appointment. Mom had willingly come along seeing as she about started crying on the other end of the phone.

"I hope they get us in I have a meeting at 3." Rick said checking his watch.

"You couldn't change the time?" I asked.

"Are you kidding it's Gina's time or no time. I swear it makes me question my choices sometimes."

"What why you hired her as your publisher or why you ever married her?"

"Both."

"Your ex-wife is your publisher?" Mom asked looking at him.

"Yeah not one of my brightest moments." He replied.

"Do you ever make bright decisions?" I asked glancing at him.

"Ha-ha funny." He said scrunching his nose.

"I try." I smirked.

Just then the nurse called me in.

"So how are you feeling today Kate?" My Doctor asked when she finally came in.

"Good, the morning sickness has been getting better so that's a plus." I smiled.

"Any of the symptoms I told you to watch for?" She asked.

"No which I'm glad because it's been freaking me out." I said looking at Rick.

"Well I don't expect to have your heart cause us any trouble but better safe than sorry. Do you have any questions before we get started?" She asked/

"Only one, can we find out the sex?" Rick asked smiling.

"Of course as long as the baby isn't in the wrong position." The doctor smiled. "Can you pull up your shirt? Gel's cold." I was still getting use to the pressure of the wand and the cold gel.

"There's the head. And there's one hand. It looks to be in the right position to see gender, hold on… Congratulations it's a girl." She said still watching the monitor. Rick took my hand a squeezed it. I turned to look at him.

"Told you." I smiled. Looking over to mom I saw she was crying.

"I'll give a minute, did you want copies?" She asked as she wiped the gel off my bare stomach.

"Yes, thank you." I said before she walked out. I pushed myself back up and pulled down my shirt.

"Mom you alright?" I asked watching her closely.

"Yeah sorry. Just happy for you two." She said trying to dry the tears as best she could.

"I'm happy too mom." I smiled at Rick who gave me a kiss.

"Not as happy as me." He was beaming. I laughed and rolled my eyes. The doctor came back in.

"Here you are." Handing me an envelope.

"Thank you." I smiled politely.

"Absolutely, and if you don't have any more questions you are free to go." No one had any questions so we walked out. Rick had to leave so after a quick goodbye mom and I were alone.

"You want to go out for a late lunch I haven't eaten since breakfast." I suggested, she only nodded. We walked over a block to a restaurant Rick and I had found once before.

"Katie why didn't you tell me about the heart concerns? I mean why do you even have heart concerns?" Mom asked when we had been seated.

"I didn't want to worry you and I had open heart surgery." She looked up shocked.

"When?"

"When I got shot. I was bleeding into my chest and they had to re-start my heart because I went into cardiac arrest." I explained. I realized I had left all this out when I told her about the shooting.

"So what does the doctor think might happen?"

"She is worried that my heart could be strained or something. But I think if I can do a full workout and fight Espo no problem this should be a piece of cake." I had hoped that would make her at least smile but it did nothing. "Mom the baby's fine that's all that matters."

"No Katie that isn't all the matters. That little girl of yours needs you, I can handle loosing a grandchild but I can't lose you." She was frustrated.

"Mom you don't think that thought keeps me up at night, and it's not just about the heart it's the fact I want to see my daughter grow up and to be able to do everything a mom should, but I may not have that option. I have a dangerous job and no matter how much good I do I still am risking my life every time I put that badge on. I've come close to dying and for the longest time I didn't care, I would tell myself that 'oh I'm just dying for the cause'. But now I'm more scared than I ever have been. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stuck between the people and life that I want and my duty to those without a voice." I said starting to get emotional. Mom took my hand in hers and looked me in the eyes.

"I know and I am sorry that I said that, I can only imagine what this would be like for you. Especially after not having me around for so long. Is there any way I can make it up to you?" She asked.

"What? The fifteen years or the fact you said I don't care about what happens to me?" I said sharply.

"Both." She said never taking her gaze off mine. I sighed.

"Just be the mom that I looked up to my entire life and maybe tell me everything is going to find a way of working itself out. Or that I won't completely suck at being a mom." I said my eyes starting to fill with tears.

"You will make an amazing mother sweetie and I do believe that everything will work itself out somehow. And I will always be your mother and I will love you no matter what happens and no matter how much I hate the thought of you getting married." She smirked.

"To bad he is such a great guy that you can't even find anything to hate him for. Well besides knocking me up but I could care less about that." I said as we were given our food.

"You never told me how you found out you were pregnant."

"Ummm… I had morning sickness and one of the other officers was joking and asked if I was pregnant so I went home and took like two or three tests because the first one came back positive. I totally freaked out and called Lanie to come over because I was crying and it was just bad." I laughed.

"I remember when I found out I was going to have you I was worried that my parents were going to kill me."

"Why?" I asked looking up from my salad.

"Because my entire life I lived on the notion that if I did anything remotely wrong I would have hell to pay."

"But you were married to dad."

"You don't remember this but my parent's weren't to happy with me marring your father. They thought I was to young and that he didn't truly love me."

"Well that explains why I haven't, or we haven't talked to them since u disappeared. Do they even know that your back?"

"Are they still alive?" She asked.

"Yeah, well I think so. I saw an article in the paper because Grandpa was retiring after like 30 some years as fire chief. And that was probably close to a month ago."

"what would I even say to them if I did find them?"

"Hi, I'm Johanna your daughter that you thought you were never going to see again but my badass detective daughter found me in a motel in Jersey… Want to have a drink." She laughed.

"That is just what I'll say." She rolled her eyes.

"Tell you what, I have the day off but come over and I can get on the work database and find out where they live." I said after a moment.

"Can you do that?"

"That's kind of my job." I smiled.

"Oh right. You won't get in trouble."

"No, if I was doing it to find and kill him that's another story."

"Oh right of course." She smiled, as we feel into conferrable silence I couldn't help but find a sort of solace in the idea that maybe everything was finally falling into place and going back to normal.

A little while later we walked into my apartment.

"Wow." mom said looking around the room at everything. I smiled.

"The computer is in the office. You want anything?" I asked taking her coat and hanging it in the closet.

"No, I'm fine." I nodded and walked into the office and opened up my homepage. "This will take a minute." I said looking up. She was sitting in the chair not looking at me. I sighed and started my search. I found an address and a phone number and jotted them down on a post-it note. "Ok got it." I said standing up and going over to her. Handing her the note and the phone. She looked up at me.

"Thank you Katie bug." She said taking them from me.

"Always." I smiled and left her alone as she dialed the number.

"Mom it's me. Johanna, I'm back." I heard her say a few minutes later.

She was still on the phone when Castle walked in and we went to the kitchen to talk.

"So why didn't you tell me you had grandparents?" He asked pouring himself a glass of wine.

"I haven't talked t them sense mom disappeared. My grandmother is very old fashioned and believes women are made to cook, clean and be teachers or stay at home mothers not lawyers and detectives." I explained.

"So they must of hated your mom becoming a lawyer." He said sitting down next to me.

"Yeah but they got over it. But I don't know what they think of me being a cop."

"Kate you are amazing as a cop, they are crazy not to admire you for all you have done and gone threw. You are the strongest, most amazing woman I have ever met." He said leaning in closer to me.

"Well unlike you they don't use me as a muse." I said kissing him.

"Nor do they save each others lives." He smiled kissing me back.

"I know this is your house and you are having a baby together but wait till I leave please Kate." Mom said walking out of the office.

"Sorry. So, how did it go?" I asked and she sat at the end of the couch.

"Great actually. I invited them over for dinner tomorrow night. I also said that you and Rick would join us." She said. I looked at Rick who shrugged.

"Sure we can come. What time?" I asked.

"Not sure I need to check with your dad but I will call you." She said looking at her watch. "Speaking of whom. I should get going." She stood up and so did I.

"I'll walk you to the elevator." I said grabbing her coat and walking out with her.

"So I'll see you tomorrow night?" She asked when we stopped in front of the elevator.

"Yeah." I smiled giving her a hug.

"And I didn't really say this but, I'm happy for you Katie and I can't wait to be a grandma. But also I'm so proud of you." She said holding my hands. I smiled.

"Thank you… For everything even if it is just listening."

"It's what mothers do for their little girls." She smiled. I smiled to and gave her one last hug before she got on the elevator.

AN: I know that it has been a while since my last post but school has kept me busy. Anyway This next chapter will be the dinner and then I think just a few more chapters and I will be done with it. Thank you to everyone who leaves comments and reads every chapter when I come out with it. You are the best. Oh also I need name ideas for the baby will have probably a few choices next chapter to have you pick from. Thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 (Johanna's POV)

I stood at the window nervously watching for any sign of Kate or my parents. Every car that went by I held my breath for once again waiting to see if it turned in or not.

"Honey relax it's early still, the only person would be Katie because she promised to help you make dinner. Now can you please stop staring out that window. It's worse than Katie coming home from Stanford." He said from his spot in the living room where he was reading the paper.

"A.) That was you when Katie came home from Stanford and B.) I haven't seen my parent's in 14 years James and I'm scared I'm going to screw up or that something will go wrong." I complained to him, he took off his glasses and stood up locking his fingers behind my back and pulling me tight against him so our bodies touched.

"Johanna everything will be fine I promise." He reassured me.

"God, why do you have to be so sweet." He smiled and kissed me without warning.

"Because I love you more than anything." I blushed a little. The doorbell rang. "Want me to get it?" He asked, I only nodded.

"Hey dad." Kate said when she walked in the door giving Jim a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hey sweetheart how's work?" He asked when he closed the door behind Rick.

"Good got a new case today not so sure how this one is going though. Hi mom." She said seeing me.

"Kate can you come help me in the kitchen?" I asked, she only nodded.

"What do you need me to do?" She asked.

"Can you get the Salad stuff out and start making it." I asked.

"I think I can manage that one." She said getting things out and on the counter before taking it around to the bar stool side of the bar.

"So did you tell Martha and Alexis about the soon to be new Castle?" I asked smiling.

"No, Martha has been busy at the school and Alexis had late classes so we didn't talk. Did you tell dad?" she asked looking up from the lettuce.

"No I was thinking that you could."

"We told the boys today. It was interesting." She laughed.

"What was so interesting." I asked looking up from the pot I was stirring.

"They had an ongoing bet about what the baby was going to be and so far Ryan and Esposito owe Castle and Lanie fifty dollars. Each of them do."

"They made bets?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah they do it all the time. Mostly it will be who can solve a case or over relationships." She laughed.

"That's awful." I replied watching the pasta.

"Eh- It's all in good fun, most of the time it is silly stuff, the case stuff they do behind my back because they know I hate it. But Castle and I always get the case first." She said smiled. "So how are you with everything?" She asked kindly.

"I don't know. I'm a little scared to be honest. How am I supposed to explain what happened to me when I can hardly believe it myself?" I said as I took the pot to the sink to drain the pasta.

"Just go along with what they want to hear and if you don't want to talk about something then don't." She replied putting the salad into the bowl.

"Is it really that simple?" I asked.

"I managed to do it for months after I got shot, people understand and most time's they are uncomfortable talking about it." Kate said coming around the counter to stand in front of me.

"How is it I raised such an amazing daughter?" I asked with a small smile.

"Johanna, there here." Jim called from the living room. I took a deep breath before making my way out of the kitchen.

They were standing in the living room in an awkward circle, I turned to make sure Katie was behind me. Turning back I tried to speak. But the words were caught.

"Johanna." My mother said exasperated as she came towards me.

"Mother." I said almost crying but managing to hold it back. She wrapped me up in a hug, it felt good to be able to have her hug me again after all these years just like it was for Kate and Jim.

"We thought we lost you." She whispered into my ear.

"I know mom." I replied quietly. She pulled away and I looked to my Father. He was a tall broad shouldered man, I could remember him holding me as a little girl and how those embarrasses made me feel so safe. He was standing just in front of me and I took his hand, His hand came up and pulled me closer to him. I smiled at the warm embrace.

"I missed you Joe." He said in a rough voice.

"I missed you too dad." I said kissing his cheek. We pulled away.

"This can't be Katie bug." He smiled looking past me at Kate.

"Hi grandpa." Kate smiled back. "Hi Nana." She said to my mother.

"You look good Katie. But who is this?" Dad asked, mother was standing silently next to him a scowl on her face.

"Oh right this is Rick Castle. He's my fiancé." Kate said taking Rick's hand.

"Pleasure to meat you." Rick said kindly.

"Same, I never thought I would see my Katie get married."

"Thanks grandpa." Kate said shaking her head.

"When are you due?" My mother asked finally.

"Um… Mom's birthday actually." Kate said attempting to get some sort of comment but receiving none.

"Dinner's ready if your ready." I said clapping my hands.

"Yes, right Joe made her pasta and meat sauce." Jim said and we walked into the dinning room.

"So Katie what do you do?" mom asked, Kate gave me a scared look.

"I, I'm a homicide detective with the NYPD." I watched my mother as her face went sour.

"If it wasn't for Kate and her team I would still be in that hotel room." I said quickly.

"Good for you Katie." Dad said grinning.

"No, not good for Katie. Woman are meant to be home with their children not off chasing criminals and marring men who can't stay away from girls and always has a model on each arm. It isn't at all lady like." Mother fumed.

"Nana I hate to tell you this but I'm really good at what I do and I have the highest case closure rate. And I've known Rick for six years and he is not the same man that I met all those years ago. It may not be lady like but you know what, I give murder victims a voice and help give families closure. Something that for years I wish I had." Kate said proudly, I couldn't help but smile.

"Mother you may not be proud of her but I am. In just these past few weeks she has shown me what strength really means and most of all I realized that I was you. I had raised my daughter to stand up for what she believes in just like you and dad did for me. I don't like the idea that she risks her life every day but she's still my daughter and honestly I support her for her choice. I don't care if you do." I picked up the plates and walked into the kitchen throwing them into the sink and sinking into a chair.

"Johanna?" Mom said walking into the kitchen. I stood up and got a bottle of wine and opened it. "Johanna please look at me." I stopped and turned slowly to face her.

"Fine I'm looking at you." I said harshly.

"I'm sorry for saying that about Kate." She said glancing down at the ground.

"Tell it to her not me." I said pouring a glass of wine.

"You're probably wondering why I have been not talking to you." She said and I looked up from the glasses.

"What do you mean?" I asked, I had only assumed she was angry at something.

"It's only that ever since you called I can't help wondering… If… Maybe you leaving was something I did. We did have that fight and you and Jim were angry at one another."

"Mother I didn't make up being kidnapped that is actually true. I wouldn't fake the fading broses or the scars I have from them beating me. What happened wasn't fake. And I wasn't mad at Jim we were just having a little spat is all." I handed her a glass of wine.

"Why were you kidnapped?" She asked sitting down at the table and I sat across from her.

"Because of something I was looking into. It was…. Complicated to say the least." I said taking a sip of the red wine.

"How did you manage to get away."

"Hung-over men and the NYPD."

"Actually it was the NJPD because I don't have jurisdiction, but seeing as I use to date one of the policemen they let me raid with them." Kate said walking in.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked.

"Just long enough to hear of my badass rescue." She smiled sitting down next to me.

"Smartass." I said under my breath.

"I know I'm like dad. And you love that." She smirked.

"You know I can always disown you." I said looking at her.

"You won't, you want a grand-daughter to much." She said with a grin.

"Caught in the act." I smiled. She pulled out her cuffs.

"Want me to arrest you now or later?" She asked.

"Please tell me you don't have your gun." I said glancing at her belt.

"No left that in the car but I forgot to take my extra cuffs off." she said putting them back.

"Katie I wanted to apologize for what I said earlier it was out of line to say the least." Mom said, I have to admit I was a little surprised but knowing her deep down she was still fuming, she was tough as nails and wouldn't let things go.

"It's not a problem Nana. Dad didn't like the idea much either." Kate replied.

They started talking but I wasn't paying much attention to what they said. The evening, though not starting off great, had went better then I had thought. I was standing at the door at around ten when my parent's finally left. As I waved one last goodbye I stepped in the door and quickly shut it.

"Rick give me the key's I'm driving home." Kate said holding her hand out to Rick who was sitting on the couch.

"Kate I'm fine to drive home." He said, his cheeks were rosie pink.

"Babe as much as I trust you I don't want to crash because you tend to fall asleep when you drink a lot." Kate said reaching into his front pants pocket and pulling out the keys.

"You two leaving already?" I asked going into the living room.

"Yeah I need to go into work early and I need to go over some things before bed." Kate said taking Rick's hand when he stood up.

"Well thank you for coming it meant a lot." I said giving her a hug.

"No problem mom it was actually kind of fun." She smiled before giving Jim a hug.

"Come on Writer boy." She said before walking out onto the porch. I waved goodbye and closed the door once their tail lights had turned the corner. Jim walked up behind me and rubbed my shoulders.

"Come on upstairs lawyer boy." I said taking his hand off my shoulder and started pulling him to the stairs.

"It's lawyer man thank you." He said following me, turning off the lights in the living room.

A/N: Hi so so sorry for having this in so late I have had some crazy weeks and was completely on writers block and wrote this chapter like three times and finally landed on this/ I hope you liked it! Please tell me what you thought also it is voting time… NAMES… ok so have a few; Samantha, Emily, Elizabeth, or Lea… If you have any others you like send them in! THANKS 3


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Merry Christmas! It's finally here the new year and the new chapter u all have been waiting for I hope u like it!

Chapter 17:

I was leaning against my desk staring at the murder board till it blurred together. I sighed and rubbed my temples.

"Kate?" I looked up to see my mom walking towards me.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm having lunch with Victoria today. Everything all right?" She asked sitting down next to me.

"Yeah, just a hard case and the fact I got no sleep last night doesn't help." I sighed.

"Oh yes I remember those days." She smiled.

"Johanna glad you to come, you ready to go?" Gates said walking out of her office.

"Sure, I'll see you later Katie." She said taking my hand. "You got this." She smiled and walked out with Gates. Walking past Castle on their way out.

"What was your mom doing here?" He asked handing me my coffee.

"Thanks, she was going out to lunch with Gates."

"How's my little one doing?" He asked placing his hand on my stomach.

"Oh she's having a blast using mommy's bladder as a punching bag." I replied.

"Emily your not supposed to do that to mommy." He said rubbing my stomach.

"Emily? I thought we are going to wait to name her?" I asked.

\ "Hey, just trying to test the waters." He smiled.

"Test the waters for what?" Ryan asked walking up.

"Nothing…" Castle and I said at the same time. "What do you got?" I asked.

"Nothing but with this being Castle's last day we were going to order Chine's and get beer." Ryan said.

"You just are happy because Gates went out with my mom." I said glairing at him.

"Yeah well that too."

"You guys realize that I'm not leaving right I'm just going to be gone a little while." Castle replied.

"We get rid of you for a week why not celebrate." Esposito smiled walking up.

"Haha funny." Castle said rolling his eyes at them.

"Go order your food kid's." I said shooing them away.

"I feel bad leaving you for a week." Castle frowned.

"We'll skype while your gone." I smiled talking his hand.

"I know but when I get back we are going to have amazing, hot, pregnant sex." He winked.

"Castle what have I told you about agh…" I hissed cupping the side of my stomach.

"What is it?" He asked worriedly.

"The baby's using my bladder as a punching bag. I'll be right back." I said going into the bathroom.

I braced myself with my hands on the counter looking at myself in the mirror.

'Kid, you better not come yet. Your dad has to go on tour then you can come but not yet, your to small anyway. You hear me?' The baby kicked and I chuckled.

"You talk to yourself a lot Beckett?" Kerpouski asked walking out of the far stall.

"Oh, I'm sorry I thought that I was alone." I stammered.

"It's alright I completely understand." She smiled.

"Are you coming tomorrow? To the baby shower." I asked.

"Absolutely, you have no idea how happy I was that it's a girl those are fun to shop for." She laughed.

"I know everything is just so cute." I smiled at her.

"It will be nice to get away from my boys for a while. As much as I love them I can't stand men by the time I get home." I laughed.

"We need to do a girls night and go out some time."

"I would like that." She said as we walked back into the precinct and back to our desks.

"Better?" Castle asked sitting down in his chair.

"What? Oh yeah, but I think we may have a ninja on our hands." I said sitting down at my desk with a sigh. The elevator doors opened and the boys walked out carrying take-out box's and a case of beer. The meeting room smelled of egg rolls and sweet and sour chicken, the boys drank as I sat back and listened to their stories. I was lucky that my partners were so amazing and were like brothers who I would do anything for. We must have been in there a few hours because mom and Gates were back and came in to join us. Castle and I were talking about some of close calls we have had, it was weird talking about them in front of my mom, not the boys they understood and laughed even but mom looked on blankly.

"I hate to draw this party short but I need to go home and finish packing." Castle said getting up from his seat.

"Have a good flight bro, and make sure to give the hot girls you see my number." Esposito laughed.

"I'll make sure to do that while I'm signing their chest." Castle laughed.

"Do I need to come with you to keep you in line?" I asked.

"No, but you should come with me." He said taking my hand.

"If you forget we are having the baby shower, we need the two of them for that." mom said standing up with the rest of us.

"Oh well, maybe I'll get you or the baby something."

"You better." I smirked. "I'll walk you to the elevator."

"Don't do anything fun while I'm gone." He said while we waited.

"I would tell you the same thing but I know it's a far cry." I smiled.

"Your going to watch my interview on The Talk right?" He asked

"Yes don't worry." I said as the doors opened. "I wish I could kiss you but everyone is watching." I frowned.

"Handshake?" He asked reaching out his hand and I took it.

"Best handshake ever." I said blushing a little.

"Yeah, I'll see you Friday." He said stepping onto the elevator and letting go of my hand.

"Call when you land in LA." I said just before the doors closed. I sighed and walked back to my desk. The boys were taking down the murder board and talking to mom.

"We were watching to see a kiss but we didn't see it." Ryan smiled.

"Sorry for Castle and I not showing PDA in the workplace." I said helping them with the murder board.

"We saw a handshake and that's it. Way to disappoint Beckett."

"I was far from disappointed so I don't know what your talking about." I smiled.

"Fine don't tell us." He snarled.

"If sir wine a lot is done we have a present for you from the two of us. Since we can't come tomorrow." Esposito said handing me a bag.

"Boys you didn't have to do that." I said setting it on my desk and opening it. It was a pink one-see with the NYPD logo printed in black lettering. "Awwww thank you it's adorable." I said giving them both a hug.

"We thought you might like it." Ryan smiled.

"I do now if you excuse us we have to go decorate the apartment in pink." I smiled grabbing my coat and keys, putting my gun in it's holster.

"Of course, I need to get home to Jenny before she goes baby crazy." Ryan replied.

"Bro she already is baby crazy." Esposito said following after him.

"You ready to go?" I asked turning to go.

"Of course I need a glass of wine though." She laughed as we walked to the elevator.

"Don't worry Martha will set you up." I smiled.

"I still can't believe Martha Rodgers is going to be your Mother-in-law."

"Does she know you're a fan?" I asked.

"No, but I try to refrain myself."

"She might love you even more if you say you even know who she is." I smirked looking over at her.

"I'm fine with the relationship we have, besides I could do without the theatrics." She said with a faint smile.

"It's Martha, no theatrics is like having no Christmas. It just never happens." I laughed.

Having my mom back was like having your best friend back and over the years I had forgotten what our relationship had been like.

"Mom you like Rick right?" I asked on the drive home.

"Of course, why do you ask?" She asked looking over at me.

"Just wondering, I'm marring him and it's important that you don't not like him."

"I think he's perfect for you, and from what your dad say's he's changed you a lot. So I am beyond happy for you and I can't say I mind him being a part of the family." I smiled and nodded.

"Are you just saying that because he got me pregnant?" I asked jokingly.

"Yes Kate that's the only reason." She said rolling her eyes at me. That's where I get it. I thought to myself as we drove home.

A/N: Hey guys I am sorry this took me so long to update I was not having much luck with it and I had major writers block I was also sick for a while but I got it done I wasn't planning on doing a baby shower chapter but I can or I can do a chapter of Castle gets back. I have another Jim and Johanna chapter idea I want to do so that may be the next one but let me know what u guys think I love all your imputes. Happy Holidays!


	18. Chapter 18

_**Hey all one thing before you start reading I was reading some previouse chapters and realized that my dates don't match up with the due date so since I only said it once or twice instead of re-uploading it and going through the whole think … Kate is now due April 27**__**th**__** . Sorry if that confused anyone. Thanks and Enjoy!**_

_Chapter 18 (Johanna's POV)_

I heard the front door open then close as Jim came home from his guys weekend at the cabin.

"Jo, I'm home." He called.

"In the kitchen." I replied my voice cracking a little. He walked in, coming up behind me wrapping both arms around me kissing my cheek.

"How was your weekend?" I asked.

"Fine, we played a lot of cards." He replied getting himself a drink. "How was Kate's baby shower?"

"It was good, there were a lot of people there and she got quite a bit." I replied leaning against the counter.

"Is everything okay?" He asked seeing that something was clearly bothering me.

"How do you do it?" I asked looking up at him.

"Do what?"

"Handle Katie being a cop, the other day I went to the precinct and they were all talking and laughing about their close calls they've all had in the past and the whole time all I could think about is just how many time's my little girl could have died and they're sitting there laughing. How am I supposed to just be okay with this?" I said tears filling my eyes.

"Katie has been doing this for over a decade and I've had a clench in my gut ever since they handed her that shield. For months I had nightmares of the night just swallowing her whole."

"What happened after she got shot."

"They got worse I would keep replaying what happened in my head and I would try running over to her but I couldn't move and the next thing I hear is castle saying she's dead. It would change all the time but it would always be enough to wake me up." He explained.

"What do you do?" I asked.

"Katie calls every night or almost every night and it gives me some comfort knowing she got home safe and I can sleep, but I still hear sirens and can't help but wonder if it's Katie. But she says she feels safest when she has Castle around."

"I invited her over for dinner, she was home by herself tonight." I said getting food out for dinner. Jim came up behind me and rubbed my shoulders softly.

"Talk to her, it will help." He whispered, I nodded, turning in his arms and wrapping my arms around him.

"Thank you" I whispered into his ear. He nodded before heading upstairs.

"Mom you here?" Kate called from the front door when she walked in almost twenty minutes later.

"In the kitchen." I called back, hearing her heals on the wood floors.

"I hope you don't mind I brought Alexis." She said walking into the kitchen followed by Alexis.

"No not at all." I smiled getting another plate down. "I thought you had plans tonight Alexis?"

"I did but my date bailed." Alexis said taking the plate from me and setting it at the table.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay I would prefer to be here anyway, Max is getting on my nerves."

"All boys do, it's a common thing get use to it." Kate laughed.

"Katie when did you get here?" Jim asked walking into the kitchen with us, giving Kate a hug and a quick kiss.

"Just a few minutes ago." She replied as Jim hugged Alexis.

"Kate sometime tonight I want to talk to you." I said as I walked past her with food.

"Sure." She replied as they all sat down at the table.

We sat around the table eating dinner and talking happily, Jim's hand intertwined in mine under the table, I felt safe having him touch me. Kate and Alexis were talking about the baby and the wedding laughing about Rick's over protectiveness towards them. I smiled seeing how Kate's face lit up when she talked about the baby. Picking up the dirty dishes I carried them to the sink, I felt Jim's hand wrap around my arm.

"Go talk to Kate, Alexis and I will do this." He said pushing me away from the sink. I found Kate in the living room texting on her phone.

"Rick?" I asked walking in and sitting down next to her.

"Yeah, he just got back from his book signing and is complaining about Gina." Kate smiled putting her phone down. "But I'm all yours now."

"Well I appreciate that. Kate I wanted to talk about the other day at the precinct." I sighed not sure what to say. "You were all laughing about your close calls, why?"

"Because for us risking our lives is part of the job, we laugh about it because we don't want to face it alone and sometimes laughter is the best medicine. Believe me I don't like that I have these stories but they make us realize how lucky we are." Kate explained.

"I think I can deal with that. I just don't like facing the fact you do risk your life so much." I smiled as Alexis and Jim walked into the living room both smiling. I enjoyed seeing him this happy.

"Don't worry I'm careful." Kate whispered to me before glancing at her watch. "Lex we should go, you have to head back to school tomorrow and I… I have to do paperwork tomorrow." Kate moaned.

"Yeah Gram will probably be home and want to share about her date." Alexis sighed throwing her head back.

"As much as we love having you, your mother and I have much needed business to attend to." Jim said winking at me.

"Okay ewwww were leaving." Kate said disgusted, hoisting herself up. She looked beautiful pregnant, far more than I did.

"Drive safely you two." I said getting up and giving Kate a hug along with Alexis.

"We will, I'll talk to you later." Kate said as she walked outside into the cool March night.

"What did you mean by business?" I asked after shutting the door and turning back to face the living room. Jim was standing at the CD player. Softly I heard the soft melody fill the room.

_She's got a way about her I don't know what it is But I know that I can't live without her She's got a way of pleasin' I don't know why it is But there doesn't have to be a reason anywhere She's got a smile that heals me I don't know what it is But I have to laugh when she reveals me She's got a way of talkin' I don't know why it is But it lifts me up when we are walkin' anywhere _

I smiled as he walked over to me laying his hands gently on my hips, letting my body glide to his naturally, my head resting on his chest as we moved slowly, dancing because we were together. I knew we were both thinking of our wedding night but we stayed silent. We didn't need to say I love you anymore, we already knew it. Lifting up my head I looked up at him smiling happily. Smiling back he met my lips in a kiss as we danced to our song.

_She comes to me when I'm feelin' down Inspires me without a sound She touches me and I get turned around She's got a way of showin' How I make her feel And I find the strength to keep on goin' She's got a light around her And ev'rywhere she goes a million Dreams of love surround her ev'rewhere She comes to me when I'm feelin' down Inspires me without a sound She touches me, I get turned around oh oh oh She's got a smile that heals me I don't know why it is But I have to laugh when she reveals me She's got a way about her I don't know what it is But I know that I can't live without her any way_

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**A.N: Sorry for being do late on this I know a lot of you are really dedicated and I wanted to thank you for that, I love this fandom and you all. I have one quick thing I wanted to ask. I want to get my story more known and I want to make a trailer on you tube, however, I have no idea how to make one and I was wondering if any of you lovely people would like to help me out and make one. PM me if you are interested. Thanks again and make sure to check out my other stories I have several Caskett, Alexis, Espilanie, and NCIS stories**


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